crococo

i might be jealous of your new partner but that doesn't mean i don't still want their movie recommendations

if you give a man a fish, he might fuck the fish. keep your fish to yourself. men are gross.

winter olympic sports are just people slipping around on ice.

"oh i fell down the hill fastest." who the fuck cares

Richard Linklater's least boring movie is Waking Life, and that's only because he got a dozen or so non-boring people to talk for 10 minutes at a time.

It's like a musician playing a bunch of random songs on a jukebox and then saying, "Hey, check out this cool album I made"

i realize it's not a cool take but did anyone else think Bad Bunny was an indie rock band?

Modest Mouse, Fleet Foxes.... Bad Bunny...? i dunno man. i don't listen to the radio.

stop saying the Beastie Boys fought for your right to party. They said YOU gotta fight.

they're just another capitalist profiting off your labor

gee the movie based on a 40-year-old toy commercial looks bad

no one ever talks about how thirsty this part of the MGM logo is

a fun thing to do as a horror movie killer is to try to make the next decapitated head bounce more times than the last one

did you know that obnoxious corporate sellout spokesman Snoop Dogg started his career in hop hop?

What radicalized you? Idk I'm not a piece of shit. My parents told me to treat others as I would like to be treated and shit stuck with me I guess. I have empathy towards other people

(not oc)

also your sweat salts the cheese

a sweatsuit made of cheese so the more you eat the more revealing it gets and the curvier you get from eating all the cheese

it's a truck.

just wait until i tell you about the cheese board

does ernest actually save christmas? you'll never know unless you read the title of the movie.

In Memoriam:

Cheney Haunted By People He Didn't Manage To Kill In Iraq War

If Cher could turn back time, she'd take back the hurtful things she said to a lover, not kill baby Hitler. Curious.

"ugh, kombucha smells like feet"

perverts: 👀

"purity tests are tearing the left apart"

::defends genocide::

Opinion | I never personally had a Nazi-curious phase. But as a fair minded journalist, it’s my job to pretend this is a normal rite of passage for American men who might later go into politics.

andrew: the pederast formerly known as prince

Hans Zimmer urinal at Midway airport

1993: you buttmunch (derogatory)

2025: you buttmunch? (flirting)

workplace self evaluations have the same vibe as the government making you do your own taxes. they both already know the answer. they just want to see you squirm.

i'm trying to come up with songs that could never, ever, ever, no chance in hell be improved by a cover. so far i only have two entries on the list: "Bohemian Rhapsody" and "Fuck the Pain Away"

MMMBibimbap is Hanson's song about eating Korean food. MMMBurp is Hanson's song about finishing eating Korean food

Trump's failing mental health has accomplished what liberals never could: stopping the country from turning into a dictatorship.

Jesus and Mary ascended to heaven in human bodies.

at some point they had to take one last shit up there. since bacteria don't have souls, it never decomposed

so there's a couple of holy shits sitting on a cloud in the afterlife. i wonder if they made historical marker plaques for them

the most unbelievable part of Superman is that the media would say something negative about a billionaire