H P

A skeleton in hell

Mentally? I’m here 🩷

Look at my silly perfect little dog

I won’t kill myself because I don’t want anyone to have to go through the trouble of planning a funeral

Silver linings you know

I’m a lot more patient than I used to be but people are also worse now so you can’t really tell

I would absolutely dominate a grief roast

Happy Pride, last December I was high at a Christmas party and Last Christmas was playing on the TV, and after spending the entire song staring at the screen I came to the conclusion that George Michael was the most beautiful man the world had ever seen, and now I’m obsessed with Wham!

Hey Haeley it gets so much fucking worse than you could have anticipated!!!!!

Crazy how Billie wrote a line about my husband and his terrible dad

When will my regular cycle return from war

I just want to ovulate, dammit

Trying to have a peaceful bit of sewing and I keep getting gripped by anxiety over this whole thing

Part of me feels guilty for cutting off my FIL from things that make him happy, but increasingly the things that make him happy are harassing women and I’m SUPER not okay with that, even if it is his dying wish. 🙄

I’m thinking of doing the same to the sister missionaries- I haven’t liked the way he’s talked about them in the past and I’m concerned that it might escalate.

fil is getting progressively more delusional and a lot of it is manifesting in the form of obsessing over a waitress to the extent of wanting to give her POA. I went to the restaurant today to ask the manager to bar him from the restaurant to protect the female servers there.

I wonder if my ex husband has seen the eel pit TikToks because I bet he’d love them.

I want to make a nice dress for FIL’s funeral and it’s so…. Weird. To be fabric shopping for something like this. For still wanting to engage in the craft that makes me happiest for such an awful occasion- ESPECIALLY when he’s still alive. Everything is wrong and weird.

George Patton in front of an American flag giving some weird ass speech about stuff

Taco Bell managers at 4:15 today

He keeps throwing away the stuff we actually want to keep (like my mother in law’s things and photos) and keeping stupid prepper shit

Oh my god AND we’re going to have to clean out his entire house oh my god 😭

Oh my god I just realized we’re going to need to plan a viewing and my husband and his brother will probably dress him so we’ll need to plan for that. Also a casket???

I’m used to planning memorial services for babies, not adults. This is all new territory

We’re having the big conversation with fil tonight. Since I’m babysitting I can’t physically be there, but I’ll be on a call so I can still support. I haven’t panicked like this since I had to see my ex in laws for the last time 😀 I’m going to throw up!!!!!

Babysitting my cousins this weekend and the youngest who’s about five months older than Sofia would have been is at dance class right now. You know what hurts to watch? A bunch of perfect little toddlers dancing and twirling and wondering if my daughter would have been their friend, too.

Husband and his brother tried to talk to fil last night and he spent most of the time insulting his sons’ intelligence and laughing at their concerns.
I have to keep reminding myself that his “good” qualities come from a place of deep selfishness and he’ll be a manipulator to the end.

Re-listening to Jennette McCurdy’s I’m Glad My Mom Died right as we’re going through all of this horseshit with my father in law is eerily timely. 😬

There are no words and also too many words.

My father in law decided to quit all of his medications AND DIALYSIS cold turkey. He’s taking a powdered beet juice supplement based off of the word of a YouTube “doctor” who convinced him this’ll cure him.

So basically he has maybe a few weeks left & we’re just sitting ducks in the meantime.

A picture of an upright immersion blender, taken off eBay. The kind you insert into a cup or pot to mix things up. Admittedly, if you saw it from far away, it might look a LITTLE bit like a vibrator.

Thinking about the time my first boyfriend’s mom saw one of these in his dorm room and told him, “I don’t care what you and Mara do in your own time, but put that away when I come over”

Headline: Pelvic exam guidelines have changed. Here’s what to expect. ...over a photo of two otters at play just under the surface of the water.

Oh, I hope not.

Also. I would die for Miranda

Binge watching Sex And The City and I hate that I like Big. 🙈 granted I’m only on season 1 still and I know I’ll probably hate him a lot but right now he’s fun to watch. 💀