When the combover ain’t working there is little choice.

It's day two of Kristi Noem's new role as special envoy for the Shield of the Americas (SEFTSOTA). I can report from my current location that the shield is holding! Best SEFTSOTA ever!

I nominate Dwight Shrute for the assistant to the special envoy for the Shield of the Americas.

I won’t be able to listen to Journey for the rest of the week.

I’m gonna start a punk band called Kristi Noem’s Husband

Day 5 of not watching the Melania movie. Drive by a theatre that was showing it…close call but I’m still good.

Day three of not watching the Melania documentary. I could get used to this.

Having trouble deciding what to wear while not watching the Melania movie.

Inside sources report the CBS News team remains safe.

screencap of WH tweet

the White House's official X account gloats over the arrest of Don Lemon with a chains emoji

I’m up early to not watch the Melania movie.

Currently resting up for DAY ONE of not watching the Melania movie.

My friends voted to rename me Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo (a great honor), but it still says "John" on my passport.

“And it’s a battered old suitcase, to a hotel someplace.
And a wound that will never heal.”

Democracy gu bràth!!!!!

Yep

Done

In 2 Kings, God had two bears maul 42 children for making ”bald head” jokes. Tread extra carefully here.

It also makes it easier to continue my lifelong goal of never taking a Disney cruise.

Done

Hulu and Disney+ cancelled.

I’m also going to boycott Disney cruises, which will be incredibly easy to adhere to.

Getting ready for the second worst President ever.

Is it time to replace “Orwellian” with “Trumpian?”

My sign for #NOKINGS today.

They are currently -$35 a dozen.

Penn Jillette described his hair as cotton candy spun from piss.

Her backup answer was, "a dead guy named Habeas."

Are you going to believe me, or your lying eyes?