Nicholas Pullen

AI is Tom Riddle’s diary except he’s gooned out on valium and doesn’t quite remember who you are or what year it is

You filthy revisionist, Camelot was obviously in the Yukon and Cær Mœlydd is actually a Dene word meaning “Eldritch Fugazi” do your research god

By far the most terrifying creature in the ocean is the Nautilus it is an ancient eldritch being of pure terror it would flay my mind in the most Lovecraftian sense if I ever saw one I would shit myself and crit fail my sanity check

The Fashion for Queer Books is Passing. On Historical Amnesia and our Contingent Queer Lives

"A Texas University recently banned a work of Plato’s from its curriculum for being infected with woke gender ideology. My friends were debating which could possibly have drawn the fascist ire.

I knew immediately, without having to be told. It was the Symposium."

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My husband, as we sit down to watch the masterpiece: so what’s the deal with Frankenstein?

Me: Well, back in the 1810s this woman Mary Shelley really needed an excuse not to hang out with her husband’s douchebag friend Lord Byron, and things kind of escalated from there…

Filing away unserious fruit as a slur for the next time I want to throw shade with my bitches on the scene

Did you study the Humanities? Congratulations! You have the only education that matters!

Oh man I absolutely can remember what would have happened. Doubt I’d be alive. Self promo of some relevance I swear open.substack.com/pub/nicholas...

Did you study the Humanities? Congratulations! You have the only education that matters!

Your fingers will remember their old strength better if they grasp your sword

open.substack.com/pub/nicholas...

Thank you ❤️

I have nothing further to add to my statement at this time 😏

(Thank you, that’s very kind. Yes there’s more to the story, for sure, but time and the market will tell if it ever gets told lol)

Jeffrey Epstein is the Grigori Rasputin of the 21st Century. Scapegoat of a doomed ruling class.

Search your feelings, you know it to be true

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The great consensus of the 21st century is that the world is under the control of a sinister cabal of evil, corrupt elites who have harnessed dark forces to subjugate and manipulate society while conspiring at the destruction of humanity.

The only remaining dispute is who and what they are.

You Are Irrelevant To Your Own Art Kill your 'self,' so the work can be born through you.

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On Calvin and Hobbes A blast from the past...

“Just two old friends riding off together into the winter twilight of a childhood that was never going to end” #CalvinAndHobbes open.substack.com/pub/nicholas...

“Do you know that guy? Me neither, but he just cracked a third bottle of KaZZach Fairy vodka (yeah me neither do they even sell it here?) and told Sarah that she has good Slavic bone structure and child-bearing hips, so I think maybe it’s time to call the cops, don’t you? Yeah let’s call the cops”

Russia, also structurally alcoholic, is that dude in the corner in the dirty wife beater with the Sonnenrand tattoo chugging vodka you’ve never heard of, who nobody invited, but he’s there anyway ranting about Jewish capital and saying and doing increasingly creepy shit to the women at the party.

He’s on best behaviour for this party, he swears.

“Oh, I get why they invited Blighty, you know? Did you hear what he did to Susan? I do love it when he gets into the Old Pulteney and gets starts weeping and moaning out My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean though. He’s a mess, but we keep him around.”

England and Russia are both structurally alcoholic, but in subtly, significantly distinct ways.

England is the roguish, charming, chaotic mess you all went to uni with who’s mostly a good chap even if he’s gained a lot of weight, pisses himself from time to time and can’t keep it in his pants.

Patriots of the Caribbean: Lee Bill Authorizes American Privateers to Seize Cartel Assets with President’s Approval U.S. Senator Mike Lee (R-UT) introduced legislation today that would allow private entities to stop drug cartel smuggling and violence. The Cartel Marque and Reprisal Authorization Act authorizes…

GOD DAMN THEM ALL
I WAS TOLD WE’D CRUISE THE SEAS FOR MEXICAN BLOW
WE’D FIRE SOME GUNS
SLAM SOME BEEEEERS
NOW I’M A BROKEN MAN ON A FRISCO PIER
THE LAST OF LUCKEY’S PRIVATEEERS

Your Editor Is the Only One Who Can Save You. Keep your friends close. Keep your editors closer...

Keep your friends close. Keep your editors closer…

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I’ve never been more hyper aware of the exact minute of the solstice than since we moved to the Yukon. What do you mean that’s not a surprise?

Review: Perilous Times by Thomas D. Lee. An elegy for an England that never existed?

You won’t regret giving the excellent @thomasdlee.bsky.social’s debut a read, if you haven’t already!

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All Political Art is Bad. Without exception.

No exceptions. Even the stuff I agree with. Maybe especially the stuff I agree with

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For real

The sinister terror of questioning every post I read, every video I see, every story I hear, and asking myself: is this real? Is that guy’s smile just a fraction too bright? Is that water behaving how it should? Does Donald Trump have the correct amount of fingers? How are we supposed to stay sane?

In retrospect #ScoobyDoo is about three teenage sociopaths and the hippie vagrant they’ve kidnapped who lives in the back of their van who they feed a steady diet of dog food and LSD to keep the guy so blasted out of his gourd that he thinks he can talk to their dog

Watched Grave of the Fireflies for the first time last night and am still rekt. Was bawling continuously from the first thirty seconds skræming internally how is this a children’s movie why omg why how could they do this to children screw the children how could they do this to meeee 😭😭😭 #Masterpiece

The Last Watch

If I ever really shit the bed and am so disgraced you have to slip me a wembley and a bottle of whisky and you hear this coming from the room don’t worry it’s just part of my process my samurai death poem I’ll get round to it in just a minute then you can clean up

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I Remember

I was today years old when I found out Nick Drake’s mom was also a brilliant songwriter who only ever played her elegiac, Noel Coward piano ballads for family and friends and also clearly influenced her son’s entire vibe. This melted my face.

open.spotify.com/track/1cNXn9...

College choir: Angelic, majestic, sublime. Full of classically trained singers. Product of centuries of musical scholarship. Based.

College a capella group: Leering, saccharine, twee. Full of sex pests. Product of decades of badly repressed frat boy homoeroticism. Cringe.