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Howard Read

@howardread

Comedy writer. Doesn’t understand how Bluesky works.

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14.11.2024
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Latest posts by Howard Read @howardread

Saturday 7 March
Colchester, Colchester Arts Centre  |  2pm show
Tonbridge, The Market House  |  2pm festival show

Sundays 8 March and 12 April 
Finsbury Park, Park Theatre  |  3pm show

Sundays 15 March, 5 & 19 April
Central London, The Phoenix  |  12-2:30pm classes

Tuesday 7 April
Epsom Playhouse  |  2pm show

Wednesday 8 April 
Hornchurch, Queen’s Theatre  |  2pm show

Thursday 9 April
Folkestone, Quarterhouse  |  1pm show

Saturday 7 March Colchester, Colchester Arts Centre | 2pm show Tonbridge, The Market House | 2pm festival show Sundays 8 March and 12 April Finsbury Park, Park Theatre | 3pm show Sundays 15 March, 5 & 19 April Central London, The Phoenix | 12-2:30pm classes Tuesday 7 April Epsom Playhouse | 2pm show Wednesday 8 April Hornchurch, Queen’s Theatre | 2pm show Thursday 9 April Folkestone, Quarterhouse | 1pm show

Fancy some family-friendly comedy goodness? Come see:
⭐ @naomipaxton.bsky.social's Ada in Epsom & Folkestone
⭐ @katiepritchards.bsky.social in Colchester & Hornchurch & Folkestone
⭐ @howardread.bsky.social in Colchester & Hornchurch
⭐ Dov Citron in Tonbridge & Epsom
www.comedyclub4kids.co.uk/gigs/

06.03.2026 13:16 👍 3 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 0
Colchester Arts Centre
Saturday 7 March  |  2pm  |  £10 (£8), £30 for 4
colchesterartscentre.com  |  01206  500  900

Colchester Arts Centre Saturday 7 March | 2pm | £10 (£8), £30 for 4 colchesterartscentre.com | 01206 500 900

Colchester! FAMILIES OF ESSEX! Join us at #ColchesterArts on Saturday 7th March for an hour of excellent entertainment with @katiepritchards.bsky.social, @howardread.bsky.social and @matricardo.bsky.social! Comedy! Music! Games! Daring feats!

🎟️ colchesterartscentre.ticketsolve.com/ticketbooth/...

02.03.2026 10:07 👍 4 🔁 2 💬 1 📌 1

Sold out today; join us in April!

17.02.2026 10:23 👍 1 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0
SNEAK PEEK! Who is the Mystery Drummer? | BRAND NEW SERIES 2026 | Stan & Gran | Milkshake
SNEAK PEEK! Who is the Mystery Drummer? | BRAND NEW SERIES 2026 | Stan & Gran | Milkshake YouTube video by Stan & Gran

More Stan & Gran episodes on #Channel5 #Milkshake this week youtu.be/gFN9P5ufawo?...

15.02.2026 20:54 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
The Market Hall, Market Harborough
Sunday 15 February  |  2pm  |  £10  |  comedy-festival.co.uk
ukkidscomedyfestival.co.uk  |  @harbmarket  |  07522  232  264

The Market Hall, Market Harborough Sunday 15 February | 2pm | £10 | comedy-festival.co.uk ukkidscomedyfestival.co.uk | @harbmarket | 07522 232 264

#MarketHarborough! FAMILIES! Are you joining us for our @leicscomedyfest.bsky.social @kidscomedyfest.bsky.social show on Sunday 15th? Comedy, games, music, magic and a rootin- tootin' cowboy, with @howardread.bsky.social, Lil Wenker and El Baldiniho!

🎟️ events.comedy-festival.co.uk/events/comed...

11.02.2026 15:26 👍 1 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0
See Rich Sandling (MC), musical improviser Dru Cripps, and sketch duo Shelf on February 17th, then Katie Pritchard (MC), Ben Van Der Velde and Howard Read on April 8th!

Queen's Theatre, Hornchurch

Tuesday 17 February and Wednesday 8 April  |  2pm  |  £10 (£8 child)

01708 443 333  |  queens-theatre.co.uk  |  comedyclub4kids.co.uk

See Rich Sandling (MC), musical improviser Dru Cripps, and sketch duo Shelf on February 17th, then Katie Pritchard (MC), Ben Van Der Velde and Howard Read on April 8th! Queen's Theatre, Hornchurch Tuesday 17 February and Wednesday 8 April | 2pm | £10 (£8 child) 01708 443 333 | queens-theatre.co.uk | comedyclub4kids.co.uk

#Hornchurch! KIDS! Fancy a giggle? Join us at @queenstheatreh.bsky.social to see:
⭐ Feb 17th: @sandling.bsky.social, @drucripps.bsky.social , and sketch duo Shelf
⭐ April 8th: @katiepritchards.bsky.social, @vanderlaugh.bsky.social and @howardread.bsky.social

🎟️ queens-theatre.co.uk/whatson/come...

11.02.2026 15:53 👍 2 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 1
Stan & Gran | Coming Soon on Milkshake!
Stan & Gran | Coming Soon on Milkshake! YouTube video by Milkshake!

Some of my favourite episodes of Stand & Gran coming up next week. Ashley Joseph, Seyi Odusanya and myself. They’re looking and sounding so great Simone Giampaolo and Julie-Ann Dean. Congrats to Jon Mason and Natalie Adams

youtu.be/EHa1Wx3JQfQ?...

10.02.2026 09:39 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Plastic surgery by Tim Burton.

17.01.2026 11:26 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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I’m play this lovely club in Leeds on the 28th! Tickets here! www.sevenleeds.co.uk/event/silky-...

12.01.2026 15:36 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

“Cookie” monster.

23.12.2025 14:27 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Either with jaws going like a wood-chipper, flip-top head like the Reach adverts, or just mash it in like Coolie Monster. Your call.

23.12.2025 14:26 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Man up. In one.

23.12.2025 13:35 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

All weird AI pictures of food should go.

23.12.2025 13:31 👍 17 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0
Howard's 2025 Christmas card to YOU!
Howard's 2025 Christmas card to YOU! YouTube video by Howard Read

Have a lovely one all. Here’s a festive cartoon I made this year.

youtu.be/0LD-TSwKFHE?...

23.12.2025 11:25 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Clockwise from top L: Grumpy Xmas Howard Read, Father Christmas in disguise, Radio Nonsense logo, a Christmas cat

Clockwise from top L: Grumpy Xmas Howard Read, Father Christmas in disguise, Radio Nonsense logo, a Christmas cat

Image: Radio Nonsense logo
Text: Christmas Special 2025 with Howard Read

Image: Radio Nonsense logo Text: Christmas Special 2025 with Howard Read

It's the Christmas special Radio Nonsense! Howard Read joins Tiernan to answer all your important Christmas questions. 
This is the last Radio Nonsense for 2025, but we'll be back in 2026! Have a lovely Christmas and a very happy new year! 
WE NEED YOUR QUESTIONS, JOKES AND NONSENSE TOO. SEND THEM IN TO: podcast@comedyclub4kids.co.uk
GROWN UPS: IF YOU CAN BUY US A COFFEE PLEASE DO SO HERE: https://ko-fi.com/comedyclub4kids
Website: www.comedyclub4kids.co.uk
Bluesky: comedyclub4kids.bsky.social
Facebook: facebook.com/ComedyClub4Kids
Hosted by Tiernan Douieb. Music by Paddy Gervers. Design by John Beck.

It's the Christmas special Radio Nonsense! Howard Read joins Tiernan to answer all your important Christmas questions.  This is the last Radio Nonsense for 2025, but we'll be back in 2026! Have a lovely Christmas and a very happy new year!  WE NEED YOUR QUESTIONS, JOKES AND NONSENSE TOO. SEND THEM IN TO: podcast@comedyclub4kids.co.uk GROWN UPS: IF YOU CAN BUY US A COFFEE PLEASE DO SO HERE: https://ko-fi.com/comedyclub4kids Website: www.comedyclub4kids.co.uk Bluesky: comedyclub4kids.bsky.social Facebook: facebook.com/ComedyClub4Kids Hosted by Tiernan Douieb. Music by Paddy Gervers. Design by John Beck.

The last @comedyclub4kids.bsky.social Radio Nonsense podcast of 2025 and it’s our Xmas special with @howardread.bsky.social helping answer festive Qs. Does Santa really poo off the Santa Monica pier on his summer holidays? Get your kids to listen!

pod.fo/e/3681bd

Available all places podcasts are

17.12.2025 08:36 👍 7 🔁 6 💬 0 📌 1

I’ve recorded lots of these, but this was the most fun. An improvised conversation answering daft questions sent in by listeners. It’s a really funny one.

17.12.2025 15:09 👍 4 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0
Howard's 2025 Christmas card to YOU!
Howard's 2025 Christmas card to YOU! YouTube video by Howard Read

Hello everyone. Hope you have a lovely one despite *gestures around vaguely*. I made a festive cartoon for you in lieu of a Christmas card.

Hope you like it.

Howard x

youtu.be/0LD-TSwKFHE?...

16.12.2025 10:56 👍 3 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0

Come to the 5pm show of this if you’re in North London! A few ticket left!

14.12.2025 13:01 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Tomorrow afternoon!

13.12.2025 12:46 👍 0 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0

This is really sad. Robin is one of the most intelligent and caring people I know. But, just like him, he’s standing up while so many other people are bowing down.

13.12.2025 22:34 👍 8 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0
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Flying visit to Dublin to celebrate the wrap of Adam Loves Adventure, a lovely RTÉ I had the joy of helping develop and write and get in a spot of Christmas shopping.

07.12.2025 17:20 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

National Lamooons can do one. The family are big into the Nativity films, me less so, but they’ll get watched. Trading Places counts as a Christmas film for me, Scrooged is also a goodun #AdventCinema

30.11.2025 18:07 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Oo! Not seen Fred Christmas or watched Christmas Chronicles properly (I think a crying child ruined it). MCC, staring the Muppet-F-Ers, obvs, Elf is a very close second. I’ll do It’s A Winderful Life. Curve ball would be Dead Snow, if you like Nazi zombies at a ski resort…

30.11.2025 18:05 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 2 📌 0
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Is there a Most Christmassyist Garage competition? If there is
Can someone enter this big jingly carport into it, because it’ll win hands down. After most of the day up a ladder, discovering problems with both the guttering and the roof tiles, Christmas is well and truly started in this house.

30.11.2025 18:02 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Brilliant! Glad The Mupper-F***ers get top billing (I’m experimenting with calling them that). I’d love to know the rest of the line up. #AdventCinema

30.11.2025 10:08 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
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For those who are wondering (and getting bafflingly angry) about when it’s okay to start celebrating Christmas, the answer is NOW. Last night we went to see one of the Sing-a-long showings at the Prince Charles Cinema. THAT is when Christmas starts for us.

30.11.2025 09:18 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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The Muppets Christmas Carol is the best telling of anything ever. A masterpiece in adaptation, every key line delivered brilliantly, great songs, genuinely funny and emotion, rewards repeated viewing (trust me on this) and every single shot of the film has at least one joke in it.

Thead

30.11.2025 09:16 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 2 📌 0

Then it was all worth it (NB financially I’m afraid it was not worth it).

25.11.2025 23:20 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Me and my missus (who used to produce live ghost shows in an entirely accidental career twist) tuned in, and the whole plan appeared to be “point camera at people who are usually funny when scripted”. Didn’t make the end of ep 1 despite liking both of them.

25.11.2025 23:19 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0