*reading Bottoming for Dummies*
"It's important to be able to release control and let yourself not be in charge!"
"That's terrible advice. This isn't my book."
*picks up The Art of War*
I haven't even used any of those words in at least an hour!!!
Please Fluster The Duck Today
He Is Asking So Nicely And You Should Be So Mean And Supportive
Thinking about someone wrapping one arm across my shoulders to pin me to their chest while the other reaches into my underwear to knead my null spot. Snout right next to my ear so they call me silly and laugh at me wearing undies specifically for this… feeling small and sexy and knee-wobbly…
null spot t-shirt idea
I really like my brain spitting in the face of God’s design by getting 90% there with a sex drive and hormones but as soon as the act of repopulation comes in, it goes “sex to me is having a sassy momma cow drop her udders on top of me like a bag of cement and then I wiggle around a whole bunch”
Yelling the safe word mid-scene only for my toon partner to drop a literal safe on me 🦆💦
Uh yeah I'm into BDSM (*boink* *donk* *splat* *mmmmMMMMUAH*)
It was Ruka but also it's a really cute idea that more people should wear tbh
Once again I am left dejected after someone expressed interest in getting intimate only to be hopelessly confused as I pulled out a Game Boy Advance Link Cable
Dude it sucks I’m saddled with a corporeal form with physical limitations. I should be a pooltoy or a computer virus or a Freddy Kruger dream entity with nothing but time, energy, a smooth erogenous zone, and the ability to bypass any measure that would keep me out. That would be a good idea
Unfortunately I must catch that nose ring on the back swing of a fishing pole and send the creature hurtling into the shark-infested water that my boat has come to a stop in
Truly moving at the speed of someone who is petrified
Got a message from a guy on Discord saying "I love your art" to which I explained I'm not an artist and every rendition of my characters was done by someone else.
Two years later (yesterday) they responded with "i see" and then linked me to porn of their fursona. Good talk
The only thing you're gonna see is my null spot as I perch on your head, buster
It hits every ridiculous note imaginable and I'm a big, big fan
The art of clowning is physically demanding and requires a ton of coordination and timing. I have the utmost respect for it and genuinely want to practice is because I think it’s cool.
I also think clowns are hot. These opinions are not mutually exclusive
(translator's note: Duino will say "I'm getting hornier" but all that means is he is thinking about this video youtu.be/6TIUuFLsUsw?... )
OK that's it. I'm getting hornier
It’s a date! I’ll be sure to add way too much chili powder to yours.
Ok but you specifically getting the prior
Pipsqueak we should talk more. I need to bully you, specifically.
I never really considered a tutorial on homemade spring rolls to be null bumpin’ atmosphere, but I am willing to try!
I wish I was even 1% more kinky IRL so I could justify how Out There my blushy fantasies are. In roleplay I’m like “what if our fursonas were zip tied together & thrown into a cement mixer full of pudding” an in reality hanging out with me is “would you like to watch this mildly funny cooking video”
Homer leaning back in his chair as the billboard for clown college knocks all his other thoughts out of the way except I’m daydreaming and the billboard says “You Like Being A Girl, Huh”
They were there and Meg was also trying to get her own animal costume but everyone was making fun of how perfectly it fit her and I was standing off to the side silently like 🦨🎀
Holy crap Lois, this is weirder than that time we visited the duck with gender dysphoria
I had a dream that I got to wear an incredibly sexy skunk girl costume that fit me perfectly and felt like a second skin and it was euphoric until my brain said “now you’re also hanging out with the cast of Family Guy”
Also someone told me after toweling themselves off in what I think was a German accent “you’re very cute and funny. And you have a great belly. I’d flirt with you if my mental health wasn’t so bad right now.” And then just… left
Thank you, king, and feel better
My pie throwing panel at NFC went pretty well! Not all the jokes landed how I wanted but it was nice to give the lecture again.
And then came the part where the demo started and I once again realized almost every attendee is from the WAM groups and I’ve once again inadvertently hosted a kink meetup
