Gul Dukat PR

As long as you do not revolt, you will all get 80,000 credit rebate checks.

Whoever put up those (FAKE!) feet videos will be dealt with!
As will anyone laughing at them!

If anyone went on Damar’s official DODGY website and downloaded classified information, you are hereby ordered to delete it now.

This was clearly an unauthorized display.

Damar is looking into the matter, but Domino’s business license will likely be revoked for violating the new Planetary Office of Humor’s policies on promoting social unrest.

Second only to Dukat of course!
Make the Alpha quadrant Great Again!

Just a reminder that there will be heavy reprisals for targeting engineers assisting the new government. The word “collaborator” will also be filtered to promote order and stability.

Please stop reporting Damar for immigration violations. You are wasting valuable time for the immigration enforcement teams.

Our illustrious Dukat is currently attending to important matters of state on a golf course. Your views are very important to us. Please accept some $DUKAT cryptocurrency as a lovely parting gift.
~ Damar for Our Esteemed Dukat

The Bajorans and the Federation were so obsessed with little owls that they hampered the ability of industry to extract much needed minerals. Today I am remedying that tedious oversight and dismissing 1,100 pointless functionaries from the now defunct Bajoran Provisional Government.

The recent, unfortunate, shuttlecraft incident was actually the fault of BEI hires. Bajorans, Earthers, and Independents are to blame, not the current government.

Thanks in no small part to my effective leadership, Independent Cardassian Enforcement agents will now have beheadings daily instead of only on Wednesdays.

And this is why the Federation is passé.
Make the Alpha quadrant Great Again!

Damar is reading each and every post you make and will report back to me on any seditious activities or opinions that might reflect poorly on certain esteemed Guls.

In order to prevent any BEI forces from getting funds and to help Make the Alpha quadrant Great Again, all checks previously sent by Damar are null and void.

For too long, hard working Cardassians have been passed over for promotions and leadership roles by so-called “BEI hires.” No more! All former BEI hires are immediately fired and their jobs will be offered to real Cardassians.
Together, we will Make the Alpha quadrant Great Again!

The Federation and its dwindling list of allies can save their tears. Those were just some unusually short trouble makers.

I categorically deny trying to feed my next in line to a mob of angry Pah-Wraiths! My new second in command will tell you the same thing.

Due to current tensions, you will only be able to procure half of your usual coffee allotment. You can thank the rebels for your inconvenience.

Ah, the hypocrisy of the universe never ceases to amaze me!
I, Gul Dukat, know a thing or two about greatness. I have crushed worker revolts and benefitted from *ahem* volunteer labor. And I can tell you, Elon Musk is a kindred spirit. Stop picking on your President.

That is unusually good pay for Terok Nor!

No one who claims to speak for the Prophets should be allowed to insult a Gul in public!