Alex Hirz

All I need is a martini and NBC comedy Thursdays

I can’t wait to click this. I wonder what it is…

I love going to a book store and finding my section :)

In a new interview, former Theranos CEO Elizabeth Holmes said that she teaches a French class in prison. When asked if they enjoy learning French from an infamous fraud artist, her students enthusiastically replied, “Sí!”

The phantom menace toy bootleggers got it right with “Dennis”

Sometimes I order fajitas at Mexican restaurants just for the attention

Ok now I’ve heard EVERYTHING

Donkey Kong, the ape from the video game, has died

I love when people put on a little show when they see a cop on the highway. “Ah yes, 55 mph. I always drive like this”

I always want to reply “in THIS economy??” but I can’t bc idk how the economy works and am worried someone will ask a follow up question

getting liz cheney on this app would be HUGE in convincing the american people to switch over

Ok sure but can we get my man Dr. Phil a cabinet position already?? Starting to get worried he’s not going to get picked for anything :(

Just lost custody of my kids. It’s official…I hate Monday’s

It’s so true

What’s your favorite subtitle in movies? Mine is “indistinct chattering”