Vallejo Crime Desk

Does she dress like a stormtrooper on purpose?

my clearly failed attempt at a joke. "Shimon" being a stand-in for "Simon"

The inevitable outcome of accepting that anyone berbie or better will be ratfucked into oblivion and the lack of any hope for the future just leaves beige-washing of the past.

As long as they arent playing Shimon Says

The thing is, Iran was no longer saying, "Death to America" like they were before. They knew well enough America would be dead in a year and a half from its very obvious cognitive, renal, and cardiac failure. But attacking them, maybe they don't wait it out as much as they would've before.

What is your solution to pre-empt U.S. military action on behalf of zidrael?

Rip jim Carrey. RIP ayatollah. Who will be #3?

Barron introduced him to Geese in between Iran war planning meetings.

Nobody tried harder than me.
I tried so hard — people say, “How does he try that hard?”
Incredible effort.
Everybody’s talking about it.
“Sir, there’s a bomb in your car.”
I said, “I know. I’ve heard. It’s unbelievable.”

Crockett will be in the Trump administration by July.

It might've worked but "call it" makes me think Anton Chigurh, and he used a quarter, not a penny.

The core function of the Democratic Party is continued employment of the political consultant class. The system is working.

Anything that's not a 6-scroller with about 50 hard returns throughout is an improvement.

How dare you suggest there is no inherent glory in a coin toss.

Who could have predicted this?

Will costco give me back what I overpaid, or does it go to their shareholders?

Au pays du narcissist nerd

Salman Rushdie but beaten to death by Maxine Waters

And through it all, I don't even know if #15 is even truly all that MAGA. All I know is that suffering through his father's substance abuse issues and his brother's poor-man's Hunter Bidenry, he must spend most his time writhing in rage at their failings like Roger Stone in a deposition.

This is a team that might be pressured by Trump to bring back a cosplay Indian riding Warpaint up and down the field and, when that inevitably is cancelled, I would not put it past them to just create a Village People residency so the Arrowhead faithful can do DJT's double-dick-jerk-off dance.

Mid-game cutaway to Mama Kelce using Hitchens' "Letters to a Young Contrarian" as a coaster for whatever drink is sponsoring her daughter-in-law's inexplicably listened-to podcast while Tay Tay uses her platform as one of the 5 biggest stars on the planet to do and say nothing about fascism.

Even on the margins, you have the latent marital racism of Definitely Take Me Seriously As a Sports Team Owner Brittany "Friiiieedd Chikkkin" Mahomes, proud Whitehouse High School alumna.

Bringing in every possible domestic abuser (Tyreek Hill, Rashee Rice, Xavier Worthy) to make it clear there is no bottom to hit in terms of disgraceful behavior in league with battery-doers like Bannon, Puzder, and Trump himself.

The Kansas City Chiefs may not be the most Trumpian of sports franchises, but they are up there. And that's not just because of Butker... or the Hunt family's shitty politics. Andy Reid as a cheeseburger-loving clown-in-chief with degenerate failsons is almost too on the nose.

Giving Columbus the respect it deserves:

This "cell" you speak of, do you mean casket? I am fine with just burning the body or dumping it in the gutter.

Sounds good. I think we should detach [Redacted]'s head from his neck.

Why would anyone trust any evidence presented by the FBI after they GPT-ed the text message exchanges on the Kirk patsy?