Emily Andras

*on plane next to seat of elephant poop* are you gonna eat those pretzels?

beak’s out, freak’s out

Same (and same issue!) what a thrill

I chased down and tackled a thief while on ice skates. I was a) 16 and b) not on ice

I chased down and tackled a thief while on ice skates. I was a) 16 and b) not on ice

I have a Portuguese ancestor who had so much sex she was thought to be a witch but there was an earthquake at the exact moment she was due to be burned so they set her free and she LOL’d off to South America like a boss, where she hopefully continued her sensual reign of terror.

I have a Portuguese ancestor who had so much sex she was thought to be a witch but there was an earthquake at the exact moment she was due to be burned so they set her free and she LOL’d off to South America like a boss, where she hopefully continued her sensual reign of terror.

i have my morning bluesky friends, and my evening bluesky friends, and then the truly degenerate friends who are both

Who can reply: anyone, nobody, people who can be normal about it.

trying out a new feature, lmk if it works

If they want me back they have to go fully Woke 2, sorry. Whole hog. I gotta be able to get an abortion there

blood moon clocking humanity tonight like I may be full but at least I'm not full of shit, mmm hmm

Always bad moon on the rise. When do we get rad moon on my thighs

practing a new form of mindfulness i call "fun computer" where i spend time at my desk but im not looking at things that make me sad or mad

My Daddy and Grandpappy died for the lulz so honored to die in their unc footsteps

We are on day four of their two day plan for a war that will make our kids targets for decades

For WHAT exactly?? Y’all forgot to explain that part

he's such a sociopath he already got bored with the FIFA Peace Prize and is gunning for the medal of Monster Energy Excellence in Explodings

Mmmm, the lining on the coat *chef's kiss sunrise*

I got news babes no one is watching the network anymore

It must be nice to be a sociopath, because all the new products are for you. The smart glasses will give you that woman’s address, the betting apps will finally let you make bank on war crimes.

> @covie93.bsky.social

Department of War announces the unlawful attack on Iran as Operation Epic Fury

insane, beyond cringe, and might as well read ‘Pretty’ Pete Hegseth and the Bonesaw Battalion present Drop ‘Em Like It’s Hot: Blood Tsunami 2

can we plz keep this nonsense mon thru fri? thx

It’s 100 percent Scott Jennings all he does is mug for fascism

stephen miller trying for the Temu version of The Night King

They want to be treated like gods and at the same time try selling us on their infantile understanding of reality.

Quite the tight rope to walk!

It's BS and the aww shucks I'm just a dumb hockey player approach isn't going to work this time.

It rocks that America is so insecure now that they’ll give you the Medal of Freedom for winning a hockey game against Canada

…the women will get a $25 gift certificate to Sephora, or whatever chicks like

Too many men are grossly underestimating the amount of rage women are sitting with right now, every hot broad i know is seething with lava spite