Cameron Loxdale

cramming for this eye exam looking at every fucking thing I can

My postman loves it when I try to grab his fingers through the letterbox

@tobyellmers.bsky.social

Well this is lovely isn’t it?!?!?

Jailed Agadoo singer 'led a conga in prison'

Roses are red
Morning has risen

Guardian article - Given the toxicity of social media, is it still ethical to use it? Image of a keyboard with a hate speech button.

Also we should probably stop manufacturing keyboards with a big hate speech button

Fuck your ChatGPT, if I want to see a caricature of myself I will make the effort to go to the seaside and pay £15 for a cruel man to give me body dysmorphia like we’ve always done.

i like to think of the kitchen as the “food zone,” because it’s where you store your food, it’s where you cook your food, and depending on your layout it might be where you eat your food. at first i was annoyed that this wasn’t getting any engagement but then i realized that i hadn’t posted it yet

Drafts - Starter pack of happily married men named Geoff who are all alive and well

You’re only getting drafts now? I’ve had them for ages

Idea for a new olympic sport: 5000 people are released into an abandoned quarry with no instructions on how to score points or win the game

Guardian website. Experience: I am the Excel world champion

Me overcompensating on my CV

I think 'disrespectful' is a really good way of putting it

Please sir can I have some more On making a living as a writer

“I didn’t have rich parents, a childhood bedroom to return to or an infatuated billionaire intent on marrying me. Either writing had to make me money or I couldn’t do it. “

I wrote about making a living from writing in the new economy.

substack.com/home/post/p-...

There's me overthinking how many exclamation marks to use in every single email when many of the most powerful people on Earth happily hit send on 'onee tiCKet To peedo islan;d PLS Jeffley'

The Creatives Grant let's make art less middle class

£500 given out to a working class writer every month.

Details in link.

Please share :)

a man is screaming in front of a united states postal service logo . Alt: a man is screaming in front of a united states postal service logo .

It really checks out.

Ever tried boiled pasta? Not as crunchy but still good

Hey Aaron, I'd be interested in this, thanks!

it would be cool if someone made a pirate movie where every so often the captain turned to the camera and said "what say ye, mateys?" and everyone in the audience could say "aye aye, cap'n". and then the movie would continue

I'm reminded of Tony Hayers telling Alan Partridge "The BBC dosen't owe you a living Alan"

It’s crazy theres hundreds of Christmas songs but only one song about Blue Monday

- in lieu of payment,
- yours (?),
- in perpetual motion,
- yours abridged,
- time makes fools of us all,

- despite my better judgement,
- yours severely,
- pay attention as there will be a test,
- while stocks last,
- from the mind that brought you our previous correspondence,

Sat around the Blue Monday dinner table as my extended family take turns to share what makes us inconsolable.

Snooker is a scam invented by corporations to make you buy more delightful little waistcoats

I’ve got something to show you. Feat. @brettdomino

look upon my works, ye mighty, and let me know what you think

Give @christycoysh.bsky.social a little follow. He's very good at this.

a man wearing a jacket with the letter s on it is working on a machine ALT: a man wearing a jacket with the letter s on it is working on a machine

To anyone new to Bluesky, a few things you should know about how we do things around here:

We all take shifts to enter 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42 into the computer and then hit EXECUTE every 108 minutes. This will reset the timer and stop the world from ending. But apart from that just enjoy yourself!

Made a commitment to put less pressure on myself this year and I've already fucked it, just like I knew I would