The finite physicist

given the current state of academia maybe there isn't a point to having a "future directions" section in papers anymore

in 60 years when they make a biopic of my life i need Walton Goggins to play me

what was Schrödinger doing during the purge

im running for Pope

im doctor

there are more atoms in a grain of sand.

If AI becomes sentient enough to be able to feel suffering, then I think it should.

A Search for "New Physics'' "Beyond the Standard Model'' in Open Data with Machine Learning In this new era of large data, it is important to make sure we do not miss any signs of new physics. Using the publicly-available open data collected by the arXiv.org experiment in the \texttt{hep-ph}...

Happy April Fools Day!

arxiv.org/abs/2503.22790

A Search for "New Physics'' "Beyond the Standard Model'' in Open Data with Machine Learning In this new era of large data, it is important to make sure we do not miss any signs of new physics. Using the publicly-available open data collected by the arXiv.org experiment in the \texttt{hep-ph}...

Happy April Fools Day!

arxiv.org/abs/2503.22790

Making N64 Zelda relativistically correct and calling it Ocarina of Spacetime

i told somebody at work I was tired and wanted to go home and he just said 'ok Joe Biden'

There's kids with the broccoli zoomer haircut at the grad school open house. its over.

grad student dinner

my most marketable trait is that I can actually read wingdings

grad student dinner

Every public laundry room should have a device that instantly disintegrates your clothes if you leave it in the dryer for more than 10 minutes after it's done because other people need to use the machines too. if youve ever done this btw your soul will never know heaven

"hidden origins" its on wikipedia

ever since I found out you can use overleaf on your phone

there is no reason to use this anymore

haughty Europeans: "I actually celebrate pi day on May 3141st."

I've been in a university for ~9 years and tbh I still don't know what a "dean" is

in the super collider. straight up "Bjorken it". and by "it", haha, well. let's just say. My protons

happy to announce that the Theory Group at the University of Cincinnati has just bought happiness !

if a tree falls in the forest and i am not there it didnt fall, in fact it didnt exist

phd student dinner

eating Red 40 just to feel something

im about to try thinking for the first time. can anybody recommend some good thoughts to try?

people who have said "money can't buy happiness" have clearly never tried hiring me before

None!

www.johndcook.com/blog/2010/01...

RIP Albert Einstein, you would have loved Timescape Cosmology