eleanor

J’ai stole le Joconde et maintenant elle est ma femme

Hon hon hon joyeaux ween de hallo

emoji of two simple pares of legs facing eachother with big butts

the emoji of two people hugging over the emoji of the legs. It makes the people hugging look like they have giant bottoms

hi i made this for discord if you want it it only works on pc and android

me: this is my buddy. he doesn’t talk. he only makes dialup modem noises
my friend: (makes dialup modem noises)

me: ugh god you know how you make plans for friday night but then friday night gets there and you don't want to do it and it feels sooooooo good to cancel?

my liege lord Daimyō Nobunaga (unsheathing katana): even a dog understands loyalty. She whose word is not bond does not deserve to live

Who tf are you people i thought i hired atp developers with aproto devs and mitochrondria

I’m afraid I am still firmly in the awkward stage of L2 acquisition where I’m competent enough that people assume I say exactly what I mean to say, leading to me occasionally accidentally being quite rude

The thing is, all my apes *are* gone.

As much as I'd like everyone to use the metric system, we may have to give up—the English are just a lost cause.

IT SHOULD BE "KILOPEDE," IT DOES NOT HAVE 0.001 FEET

the German morpheme „Zug“ means too many things. not enough people are talking about this

chat channel policing is the conversation killer. it’s only very rarely worth doing

Writing something on to my to do list after I have already done it just to get the pleasure of crossing it off my to do list. The advanced play.

Yoshiaki Koizumi confirmed in 2018 that the mushroom on Tad's head is part of his body, and not a hat

iptables? you should see a doctor about that

Philosophical representatives on mission who guillotine you if you use "begging the question" wrong.

i like my dejeuners the same way i like my morts: petit

what if frogs are pickled rabbits

Visa and Mastercard reportedly coming for FAIRIES and CAT EARS

Get on the phone and ask them wtf is up because this even made me double take
bsky.app/profile/dark...

A foodie style photo of an omelette on a plate with a fork having just taken a piece out, sprinkled with fresh chives, and with four bands of colour across the omelette; brown, black, orange, and gold. The bands of colour are those used on resistors; hence, an ohmelette.

Ohmelette

chat is this real

Brain irrevocably broken by internet, no cannot read the flavor note “citrussy” without laughing

On this day two years ago, Kyle Gordon posted a TikTok that had a text overlay reading, "Every European Dance Song in the 1990s."

Proposal:

Using spoons and forks instead of sporks is a sign of petit bourgeoisie commitment to capitalist hegemonic cutlery.

the computer knows where it is at all times. it knows this because of unregulated bulk resale of user data and metadata

tama sea critters 🐬🦑

disintegrate people who use too much spray deodorant

definitely have a lot more respect for the wizards who make web browsers look kind of okay, despite how janky they still are