✨ Plain 𝓢𝓵𝓾𝓽𝓽𝔂 Garak ✨

I call them Chiefs Brief Briefs.

It must be because I'm 𝑷𝑰𝑷𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑯𝑶𝑻.

Welcome to my shop! All my clothes are 𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘧 𝘰𝘧𝘧. And if you ask for a 𝘧𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨, I'll sweeten the deal - you'll get 100% 𝑶𝑭𝑭.

I'm 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙤𝙥𝙚𝙣.

...

...

...For business as well.

Your explosions are always SO large, Senator. 💦 As a matter of fact, they are 𝙨𝙪𝙨𝙥𝙞𝙘𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨𝙡𝙮 large. Are you 𝘧𝘢𝘢𝘢𝘢𝘢𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 them?

Even with a 𝘵𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 schedule, working on your pants is 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 a breeze, Chief. *winks as loudly as possible*

The ones that say "WE ALL SCORE"? I've already finished them. So by all means, if you wish to 𝒔𝒄𝒐𝒓𝒆 as well, pick them up whenever you please.

That's because you are meant to happily get over the hump at night.

Although I manage to squeeze in a few throughout the whole day.

Being a tailor is tiring. I'm always standing around. That's why I call it a 𝒇𝒐𝒐𝒕𝒋𝒐𝒃.

Always happy to probe around.

She was right.

Dear valued customers:

I apologize for my absence. I have been in hospital due to an incident regarding O'Brien's (@annoyedobrien.bsky.social) famously spicy chili. The Garak you love will be back in action soon, thanks to Bashir's delightful bedside manner. He poked around and fixed me right up.

You know who to call if you need it 𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒆𝒓. *lathers the chili over my body*

...Oh my, I think I've made a mistake. Doctor???

It burns. (Again.)

I'll be 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙜 to your rescue, Chief!

...As I observe your rescue on the monitor. Now, 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 filthy.

The one that is so famously spicy that only masochists dare take a bite?

I'll have a bite, or as many bites you'll permit me to have.

Yes. And there will be an exam. So 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒑 𝒊𝒏.

I'm quite 𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒚.

...And I love to help people.

As they say, two's company, three's the crowd I want to be in.

...Sorry, did you mean something else? My mind is a bit preoccupied.

I'll provide the rubbers... *ahem* Rubber gloves.

You certainly have a knack for making things 𝒔𝒂𝒖𝒄𝒚, Chief.

Oh, you want to straddle me instead for once? I'll allow this.

This fabric may be exceedingly clingy, but you'll find that I'm even clingier. 🫦

Red alert. I've been spotted gyrating on the promenade.

(𝒶𝑔𝒶𝒾𝓃)

They 𝒶𝒸𝒸𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓊𝒶𝓉𝑒 the bust. You must trust me regarding such matters. You are an engineer. But I make art with 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒂𝒅 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒔.

Dirk Manchasm? I'll be joining you, Chief. That's one cave I've yet to explore. I hope you're open for me to explore some additional 𝒄𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒔 while I'm here.

Must I strap you down? 𝘼𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣? You know, this would be over with sooner if you'd behave yourself.

I believe DOCTOR JONES has the surgical precision you need.

Although, do be careful. You may feel a little prick.

I have to admit, I don't know many. But the ones I know are 𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙚𝙠𝙮.

You want me to measure your bust? That won't be a problem. Now, if you'd please take off your pants.

It appears I've made a slip of the tongue.

It 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 happen again.