CryptΩ-Z∞l໐gᴉcal Disaster 𓆑🏴

this rock youtubers North Midwest accent is so strong the auto caption says her "agate" is "eggot"

what the fuck is a litre

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5 days to go, 50 ppl with $5 to spare would make sure we continue to have a phone and the ability to get around. i know you're sick of seeing it, I'm sorry to be asking.

investing in ball sweat futures

I thought that was the Michelin Man's thing

Reddit post by u/Bluebopper, 4 days ago. Title: The return of Handsome Candy Dan. 3k upvotes, 33 comments, 4 heart awards. Photo is of a dilute orange cat sitting in a wooden planter amongst greenery

he's back! he's back!!

yeah if I had a face like that I'd want to keep the male dating pool as small and inbred as possible, too.

image of a black t-shirt with “MY DEDUCTIBLE IS TOO HIGH FOR THIS PIT” printed across the chest in all caps

too many cameras and not enough gameras

Hello Bluesky! My name is Carl and I am stepping in as the temporary acting interim CEO. First of all, I am literally gonna kick the absolute crap outta the bunch of you little dorks, and then I'm gonna do background nerd stuff.

Less evangelical christianity, more Evangelion Christianity.

every round building is either a UFO or covering a UFO. you might ask "wait why would it have to be round that seems like a giveaway"

I really need help. Please repost/quote post. Thank you.

hitting the secret button that opens my ribcage and pulling out a 98.6° beer

don’t forget to destroy your clocks tonight, walk away from your mortgage, just start driving, you’re free

Targo Margo

⚠️ DON'T FOLLOW ME ⚠️
YOU'LL HATE MY POSTS

bumpersticker

his brains out on live TV, or someone else could

plastic and yes they're somewhat melted

you don't have to your scattered bodies go but you can't stay here

it's raining? what the hell. one last hurrah before the hot neck summer returns on wednesday

ah, the rare Reverse Deadly Friend

and this is why AI is being shoved into every crevice of our lives and government, so the cruelty can be ratcheted up without a human being to blame

terrific smelling ointment

it really reminds me how much I hate both of them

very, very doltish men slowly succumbing to brain death in terrariums of their own farts

Hey, remember how I said that my third friend in the oil industry didn’t respond? Yeah they got back to me.

It’s not looking good, team

Websites where you type in your birthdate and it tells you how many miles of poop you’ve likely produced are recession proof