Guy who is really into nyt games in the passenger seat: watch out the pedestrian has rightle way. Yep this one's a stinker folks

I miss you @marpeter.bsky.social

Youve had a few beers and now youre going to have a sandwich

my wife: did you find out why your mom was in the hospital
me: that's what I'm doing now
what I'm typing: purple smoke means the pope is smoking that good

12 way parlay on the Minecraft movie hinging in Mr. Blue Sky playing during a climatic scene and We Will Rock You playing but NOT until an after-credits-creative-mode joke sequence, I win 8.98 trillion dollars and destroy the US economy

Lesotho

glass as full a possible, not half full/half empty

Angel on shoulder: You fucked up. You left the wok in the sink and now its going to be a huge fucking pain in the ass to clean
Devil on shoulder: You better overnight that barkeepers friend on amazon right now

Remembered where my keys were by using my Mind Yurt

Jimmy chungus

Drake burger extra mustard

We might be having a Soy 2025 folks

Hitting a joint and talking after and my voice is really high pitched like i inhaled helium

Me and capcut getting freaky

This app is where its at

Goodbye twitter, Hello bluesky! #MyFirdtTweet #NewBeginnings

Tom and tom and jerry turned into a baby

Im soy and i fuck with kombucha

Blue sky kinda gives twitter vibes

@slayersforgire Fuck you

To tweet, perchance to dream... or on bluesky... whats it freakin called? #FirstPost