Lola

I made it a chore and also I mind reclaiming madness and failure far less when i'm not actively struggling.

But that would be the occasion for an intersectional transformation of literary critique. Restaging the problem in an immorally wealthy information environment that is seeding hypersensitivity to information sharing. Perhaps to the point it's maddening, the media making me/us sick.

The meme of two muscular arms, one labelled my fear of doing harm and the other my fear of being harmed. The middle text is my ability to do harm I don't know I'm doing and being perpetually scared people are angry at me because of it.

One thing I was thinking about is positionally feeling that out - as a white woman with paranoia reading about a bad reading or deliberate mishearing as a mad epistemology, or as a person with a history that involves being gaslighted reading about people being "intentionally slippery".

The way white patriarchy uses white female victimhood as an ongoing history of racist violence means my narrative might be weaponised in ways I don't want. Being aware of thtmat as something more than frustrating my ability to speak about violence.

It also means I have to be aware of manifesting power, how what I do replicates/subverts power that subordinates.

It's a subtle to pointless difference when a cultural variation might not be understood or known, but being a fan of Chris Kraus and the bands Broadcast and Joy Division are not legally protected categories if push came to shove and I had to make a case of discrimination.

This is going to sound very reverse racism but bear with me, because I am a white middle class female, my psychiatrist makes assumptions about my culture and what are normal and abnormal beliefs to hold. There is no indicator that, say, my belief in trance states is culturally prescribed.

Then I have to b) figure out how to identify the power at play when those aspects intersect, and how that power manifests.

But I'm learning it's not enough to simply identify the aspects of someone's identity - my white female asexual middle class and monolingual english speaking aged able body with invisible mental illness. I have to a) figure out how to identify what happens when those aspects intersect.

One of the issues I might raise is that of scrutiny - why ask whether Beyonce is a feminist and not Taylor? Or I might consider the simultaneous hyper-visibility and invisibility that inspires different degrees of visibility within regimes and schemas of visibility.

Here is a question: do we read Taylor Swift and Beyonce the same way in relation to an ecofeminism that centres communities of women whose lives and livelihoods are made the most precarious and unliveable by capitalism.

I've spoken before about how the guy I slept with in 2014 ran a show prompted by the question Is Beyonce a Feminist? One of the things I'm incompetent at is answering that question.

So: developing an intersectional mode of criticism that can approach reclaimed mad epistemologies like nonsense, opacity, uncertainty, unknowability beyond frameworks of valueing, facilitating meaning, and gatekeeping.

Today I was reading a good thesis that used an intersectional method to describe the failure of photographing oneself in a way that leads to passing as a white able bodyminded man. And I realised that is what I'm talking about, that is what I want to know how to do. So.

I'm a lizard person.

A spiny lobster looking out from a cave underwater while climbing over 2 Swell Sharks, sometimes called Puffer Sharks. These medium sized sharks hunt at night, stay in caves during the day, and have cat-like eyes which gave them their family name as "catsharks". These sharks swell up with water when disturbed and it's thought that they do so in order to keep from being pulled out of the crevices they rest in.

A spiny lobster crawls out of a recess under a reef over 2 catsharks. They're commonly called Swell Sharks since they blow up by swallowing water. Thought to keep them from getting hauled out. They hunt at night & have decent choppers so don't haul them out of their caves. People have been bitten.

I'm dying what the fuck are these. 😭😭😭

Photo of a few square inches of tree trunk. Growing on the tree trunk are several grey lichens (growing flat on tree), a lichen that looks like a bunch of tiny egg yolks, and a bright red fungus that looks like a half dozen or so round/oval red blobs.

A few square inches of tree trunk. At least 4 species of lichens (Parmelia, two Physcia species and Caloplaca) plus Red Tree Brain Fungus. #lichen #fungi #fungifriends.

Of course that just means i'll do some work today and take it off next week's total. Which of course is an interesting way of thinking about eroding some of next week's time off today.

This delivery driver throws treats to all the dogs on his route to see if they can catch. Spoiler alert: some of them definitely cannot. Still 13/10 for all (TT: jezzyvi)

I took off 2 days next week out of last years RO'd PTO (after that I have another 5 days from last year before digging into this year's 20) but i'm not doing what i planned to do so i'm just going to take the day off today and work 4 days instead of 3 next week. 4x8=32 - some work over the weekend.

Shot. Chaser.

Big news for Stephan, Friedrich, Gretl, and Liesl - the goats we rescued in January - they have been cleared to move from the quarantine barn to the main barn!

I will say something about my current class of 3rd graders: They get REALLY into a story. I read the same series of books to my kids every year. And this group not only pays attention but asks questions, makes their own predictions, get excited when they connect dots. It’s reassuring to me.

a pack of kittens closes in a a large dog standing on a chair

David Attenborough [whispering]:

“As the predators close in on their helpless prey, we can only watch in silent horror, for it is not man’s role to interfere in the hierarchy of nature.”

I'm experimenting with sarcastic overdetermination and trusting underdetermination, Taylor. Can you take these tools and apply them in an ethical way as you imply you do when you appeal to people taking more and less responsibility for their actions?