Every time I open a news app or site and this story isn’t being discussed or featured prominently I feel like I’m losing my mind. Do not look away.

OH SHIT 😱🤣

I took the jalapeños off my bagel earlier I got something in my eye I tried to get it out and burned the shit out of my eye 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 DUMB ASS

Chonky ass snowflakes 😍

So let me understand this ... the price of oil is up, which is "good" for Alaska's kids, because it potentially means more money for education ... but the reason the price of oil is up is that we are killing kids at their schools in other countries. Someone catapult me off this planet, please.

Cold War *Cocktails and Cake!

Sweetest (sincerely) night at Julia O'Malley's Cold War and Cake night at the museum. Love you @wendipqa.bsky.social @jomalley17.bsky.social !

Kylie on Jason’s Best Parenting Skill, STOP Asking Women THIS… & Trading Pacis For Pet Fish | Ep. 58 YouTube video by Not Gonna Lie with Kylie Kelce

While I am plugging appearances on other people’s pods—also had a chance to go on Kylie Kelce’s show this week and had such a nice time talking Birds, mom stuff, my anti reclining stance etc. She really is the best!

youtu.be/Gr2N0aQCNmE?...

Wait how did I get on Selenas close friends?!

But first responsibilities 🙃

I'm so excited to watch the @minakimes.bsky.social NGL episode!

Oh, Britney. 🤦‍♀️

a man talking on a phone with the words thanks mercury written above him ALT: a man talking on a phone with the words thanks mercury written above him

A lot of weird stuff has happened since Mercury went into retrograde on February 26th. Probably just a coincidence.

My dog nephew has cancer 😭

Davis just texted that his Spanish class is going on a field trip to Pedro's after spring break. I'm jealous. 🤣

Is it too early for a funny cigarette? I've been stressing all day thinking about Dave's school.

Double dammit

Ok then go away a ron

Wow I didn't know that spring break starts on Friday 🤣

This is definitely not a cheeseburger in paradise 🥶

Davis said his backpack was checked before he entered school today because someone threatened to do bad things. I can't.

Hell yeah it's Napolis Philly night!

I've heard its tasty!

Those tiny pink ones pack a punch! Holyballs!

Carrs had these pretty Easter Egg radishes. Pretty damn tasty.

There was a guy sitting in the bed of a truck at Carrs smoking weed or something out of a pipe. I highly doubt it was his truck, too. 🤣

They just keep adding fuel to the dumpster fire we live i🙃

a man in a zombie costume is standing in a cemetery with his arms outstretched . ALT: a man in a zombie costume is standing in a cemetery with his arms outstretched .

So tired. Blood moon was worth it.

This phone camera sucks

Go look at the moon!