Naptowns Elite 7/3 🎇

Jobs be like “we found a better candidate”
I’ll beat both of yall assès

"what do you see in her?"🤨🤔

My Dìćk If I Can Keep It A Buck Bossman🤷🏾‍♂️

That one chill guy who’s having car trouble be waiting in the parking lot after work finna ask if you could take them home like

a cartoon of a boy and a girl with the words going ghost on the bottom ALT: a cartoon of a boy and a girl with the words going ghost on the bottom

When you thought it was going good but then she randomly turns into Danny Phantom and …

Grand Rising 🌅
Have a b🎃🎃itful Halloween 👻✨

Me watching everyone’s toxic relationships from my throne of singleness

ICE raids in Texas. The cartels should show them what time it is

Lmaoo 🤣☠️

These the boots Dexter be rocking in Dexter’s laboratory 🥼😭🤣💀

When you have the power to open other worlds but you can’t unlock her heart

“This is King of the Hill..Mayne”

a cartoon of spongebob saying aye in front of an archway ALT: a cartoon of spongebob saying aye in front of an archway

On a scale of 1-10 for you I’ll say you are today’s date of 10/10

“If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy”

Me who’s neither:🤧

When you waiting on them to break up but she post an ultrasound

“ this is how it feels to chew 5 gum “

How l look at someone when they ask what I'm doing but they can clearly see what I'm doing..

Trying to stay calm when you're explaining something for the third time and they still don't get it.

My lawyer: Ok your honor, we'll take 25 years
Me:

How I look at the last two glazed donuts in the box..😅🤣🤷🏾‍♂️

When you finally beat your friend in Mario Kart but it was witha Blue Shell on the final lap…

“for the plot” i say as i actively ruin my life

How i jump into conclusions when i call her and she doesn't pick up..

I ain’t fumble no shortie; im toxic, she escaped..

Therapist: What do we say when we are mad?

Me: Gang Gang

Therapist: No.

When the top is mid at best but the vibes is cool 😎 🫠

How I be looking when ik im fcked up and im wondering how I’m making home

I may look normal but when I watch shows I mostly agree with the villains

And if I send you this ...your a bald headed lion ahh btch 🤣

*nobody*

Cellmate: Well I don’t know about you but I’m overdue for a 🌰
Me: