Scientifically speaking the sexiest spot on a man is the half inch of bare skin when his shirt lifts up a bit

Dolly Parton in the movie The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (1982). She appears to be running into a pink dress and robe. The meme text reads “me running titties first into the weekend and leaving this week in the dust”.

gm

Waking up to 3 friends alts in my DMs after this got me like

Clocking in

Born to frolic, forced to enter my verification code.

I wish Tina Belcher was real. She woulda loved Heated Rivalry.

Haha

Who wants to get together and put bugles on our fingertips?

The fear of forgetting things in the short term causes me so much anxiety

Me: What could possibly go wrong?
Anxiety: I'm glad you asked.

Two trains crashing into each other on a track. The first is labelled “my desire to abandon technology”, and the second is labelled “my desire for memes”.

gm from the capitalist hellscape

One of my friends is on vacation and all his snaps are sun and grass. Meanwhile I’ve got 9 feet of snow at the end of my driveway, so I’m basically using snapchat story like a vitamin D supplement.

5? Those are rookie numbers. I’m out here trying to collect alts like they Pokémon.

if you have one, you can bet your ass I wanna see

Hey you, wanna fuck?

……up some tacos with me?

I joined a Rowing team and the World Wide Web has trained me to think that I’m either going to get murdered or find a nice sub getting used in these showers

Thissss

Marcus Mumford can get it

I don’t smoke crack because I have iced coffee

This trip will save their marriage

Hey siri how do I serve business casual in a cunt honoring way

Australian Survivor: Redemption Has potential but needs a sprinkle of my man JLP

two women are sitting at a table and one of them is saying `` tragically we are both heterosexual '' . ALT: two women are sitting at a table and one of them is saying `` tragically we are both heterosexual '' .

There’s been a lot of boobs in my algorithm this morning, so I think Bsky has decided I’m straight now

Was gonna go have a morning coffee but Diego brought his Dino for some couch snuggles, so I’ll be stuck here until further notice

Day 6 of being Sick and thirsty af