es

that's why i'm on bsky now, i took an triple dose of stims to forcibly up my mood because i creeped myself the fuck out tonight

i'm locking this to interactions because i don't want to interact with anyone still, i'm sick and tired of it. if anything i just wanna say "don't use triptorelin"

i've had thoughts of the s-word for like years now, but as of now i have written a letter (physical) and made detailed plans and backup plans for how to go about it. and being in a situation before where you're telling yourself "alright, 3 hours to go" honestly feels very disturbing and unnerving

for the last month+ i have slept in an unmade bed because i'm too tired to fix it, not changing my clothes for entire weeks, eating tons of candy etc just to feel "baseline okay", completely socially isolating myself and being a major s-word risk like literally every day. this is still ongoing

status update for those of you who've noticed i've been gone

in october of last year i got a dose of triptorelin (antiandrogen) and it's been a catastrophe for my mental health. i'm not exaggerating when i say i have NEVER IN MY LIFE been anywhere near this unwell

still here, but not "doing okay"

tho at least ithe creator had good enough taste to sample "rainbow in the sky" by paul elstak (a much better song)

Psitrance !!! YouTube video by psiangel - Topic

this video is insane false advertising. you can't make a gabber track and name it "psytrance". and cirno's not even in it!!! what the eff

繫忙期はとっくに過ぎたみたいだな

but to be fair, it is kinda fascinating reading about a game of life pattern and coming across the line "As of October 2024, it has appeared 10 times in 559 trillion asymmetric soups."

i.e., 10 out of 559,000,000,000,000 sets of random noise generated this pattern

and this still counts as "common"

i love taking stims to get work done and then spend 9 hours hacking away at a completely unimportant hobby project and then 2½ hours reading the Conway's Game of Life wiki

the same girl from before, her sister standing in front of her with an erection poking through the sister's skirt

ah. i see

anime girl looking in mirror. "when i woke up, i turned into a girl!!!"

same girl barging into a girl's room. "morning kaede! your big bro just turned into a cute girl!"

same girl lying on her back. "he he he… so? aren't i cute?"

i have to say he's taking it really well

Introduction to Mathematical Logic by Alonzo Church

Fundamentals of Logic Design

The Art of Computer Programming volume 3

Human Endocrinology by Herbert Kupperman (volumes 1, 2, and 3)

oh wow a friend picked up these gorgeous textbooks for me

Tumblr post reading "pixiv artists will draw a cute girl and then add the sign of Mars next to her to indicate she is a warrior?" from acct collectivenothingness

Today's Fortune 💯

ちょっと遅れましたが…Happy New Year 2026🐎
今年もよろしくお願いします！

i learned how A* works a couple years back and i'd forgotten it again by like the next morning

VOICEBOX
#mouthwashing #anyamouthwashing

LOL, WHAT A CUTE LITTLE ONE-SHOT. *NOSEBLEED* THE PAIRING WAS REALLY MOE AND WE GOT YURI. ^^ ->

me reviewing a manga

bunny cry

以前描いた、大学サークルの先輩だった沙村広明風セーラーマーズとポケモン剣盾のマリィ。生成が一番得意そうなネタですが、私の手描き、人力です。氏の「無限の住人」の手伝いも初期やってました。ベタ、トーン、ハッチングとかも

Sailor Mars & Marnie in Hiroaki Samura style. 100% hand-drawn, no AI. I used to be an assistant for "Blade of the Immortal"

眼帯をしたボブカットの巫女

陰キャ巫女
#oc

👟👟

rkgk

#pixelart

After work
#Fantography

一緒にまとうね

リョウちゃん虹夏ちゃん