Keith Burgoyne

holy shit

Four panels. Panel one is a house with lights on at night. Panel two is a full moon. Panel 3 is a word bubble above the house "oh, no!" Panel four is a warehouse.

This is specifically for @shipley.bsky.social and @keithburgoyne.bsky.social the two Dad-dest guys I know (though all may enjoy):

a man in a suit and tie is smiling with his eyes closed Alt: a man in a suit and tie is smiling with his eyes closed

This is genius!

Sleepy bleeding is way worse than well -rested bleeding, this is a fact.

I swim in my own butt sweat, it's the worst

Not to mention mosquitos. And seasonal allergies. And the fact I had to get heat pumps because last summer was pure fucking torture at night when there was no wind and the humidex was hovering around forty.

Summer has gotten way too hot and humid for its own good.

Nah, I'm dreading the start of muddy spring and the oppressive heat and humidity of summer.

I'm so confused about what time it is.😕

Happy International Women's Day to all the terrific women of the world.

"Just after starting on Cars 2, I was told by a superior that I would be uninvited from all weekly art department meetings because Lasseter 'has a hard time controlling himself' around young women... It was clear that the institution was working hard to protect him, at the expense of women like me."

PEI seasons, from worst to best:

1. Spring
2. Summer
3. Winter
4. Fall

And today on International Women's Day, I'd like to say Fuck the Patriarchy.
➡️ break the cycles
➡️ ignore the beauty standards
➡️stand up for those unable to speak
➡️fight back against inequality
➡️strengthen & educate the next generation to expect better than what was taught to us.

THREAD: I got laid off from NYMag/Vulture after 14 years. The family lost 75% of income + medical. Now mzs.press bookstore, once a side project. is do-or-die for Judith & I. I feel weird telling you this because others are doing much worse. But if you could like or share this, we'd be so grateful!

Um is this foreplay

Last night, on #DeltaGreen

Sometimes you just wanna feel young and numb.

Long as you don't shit yourself, that's the main thing.

Anyone wanna snort some antidepressants off a toilet lid

They're so heavy they pulled him right over.

Many of them!

Opinion: Bluesky is a dangerous echo chamber because no one wants to hear from me, specifically

I know of one gym they aren't in.

Here are the Top 5 Dogs of the week!

a light brown and white pitbull smiles right at the camera. she has a light pink nose mottled with black, light brown eyes, and a large goose-egg lump on the top of her noggin, over by her left ear. her name is strawberry.

strawberry the pitbull sits in some grass and looks up at you while wearing a felt strawberry costume. it’s a red cape with yellow dots for the seeds, and she’s wearing a green leafy hat, with one leaf gingerly propped up on top of her head lump.

a mostly white pitbull with a light brown spot over her eye and ear and a big raised lump on her head snuggles with two kids on a gray sofa. she’s tucked in under a striped blanket, her head resting on one kid’s chest and with the other leaning lovingly on her back. she has the most contented and peaceful sleeping face.

This is Strawberry. She was almost euthanized in a shelter because of the bump on her noggin. Fortunately it was harmless scar tissue from an old injury. Her unique appearance helped her get the attention of a forever family, who love her just the way she is. 14/10 (IG: strawberrytheunicorndog)

I've listened to hundreds of audiobooks, and I'll listen to hundreds more. They're wonderful.

Please, please, please be careful.

Thank you, Sir, for speaking plain truth.