This day in history. 2013. Singer and quick as lightning guitarist Alvin Lee died following heart surgery. An autopsy revealed resting in his chest cavity two souvenir Alvin Lee guitar picks and a Junior Mint.
Tariffs killed my Sea-Monkeys.
keep your enemies close, but your amenities closer
she had the grippiest socks in the whole asylum
Find someone who gives you orgasms you think might kill you.
if you can’t find your way to me among my eleven pillows on my bed then that’s your problem pumpkin
whiskey, weed, wish you were here
The gap in my resume? That’s when I worked at the Gap, dumbass
as the dalai lama once said: give a wham give a bam but don’t give a damn
Who called them sea monkeys when shrimpanzees was right there?
It’s Friday.
Get your buttholes ready.
Shut the fuck up (politely)
I’m eating Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups for breakfast, medicinally
Go live? It takes every fiber of my effort just to assemble these words.
So many people unfollow me when I say gross sex stuff like they forget this is the internet and that’s basically its entire purpose.
I can slur my words without touching a single drop of alcohol
What’s your superpower?
You’re awesome! :)
psssst, if a woman doesn’t want to talk to you in DMs that doesn’t mean she has a shitty personality or is a bitch so give your balls a tug and move on bro
Da fuq (just in general)
The greediest amongst us are tasked with enforcing the rules in the greed-rewarding system
wearing my prettiest dress to group therapy
My hair smells of apple blossom and the blood of my enemies haha what
*turns on the news*
*turns off the news*
There are days I wonder about me. Doesn’t last long, short attention span and all.
lady, look around, the world is on fire i can’t also deal with your condescending looks over me forgetting my reusable bags
Not wife material, more like side piece material.
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day, dude?
ulterior is one of the most classic things for a motive to be
This day in history. 1921. Sunbury PA police chief Donnie Smith issued an edict requiring women and girls to wear skirts at least four inches below the knees. Told he couldn't issue edicts and questioned about his interest in girls' skirts he launched a speakeasy raid on neighbouring Snydertown.
Use as directed. Or what you think is best.
