Lisa | Twinstant Family

Imagine being rich enough to do anything you want and choosing to take food and medicine from starving children to give yourself even more money.

So far not a fan of Janubruary

Fine.

I do those exact three things fairly often.

Perfect math.

I am an embarrassment to us all. 😅

Yep. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Is that the criteria? This is not good news. No one in this house can turn the transformers into cars.

GoFundMe is going to MATCH all donations to this fundraiser up to $250,000

Letz go,!! 🙏🏾

I just took the dog out and there was someone standing there, staring directly into our house. I was half a second from screaming bloody murder when I recognized the idiot.

Hi. It’s me. I’m the idiot.

Me too!

photograph of a round cake covered in chocolate crunchies with ice cream cone horns, eyes, a wide pink smile, little arms and a belly indicating a friendly little monster guy

photograph of the actual cake through a carvel box, the guy looks fuuuuucked upppppp. he looks surprised and disgusted

it's my daughter's birthday and I ordered her a monster cake from Carvel and this is the picture on the website and this is the picture of it in real life. please note: this is not a complaint. if this had been the picture on the website i would have paid more

😂😂😂

a man with long hair and a beard is holding a glass with the word huh on it ALT: a man with long hair and a beard is holding a glass with the word huh on it

5yo: Mommy, do you remember when I was a baby in ‘71?

When my husband and I were dating (many years ago) he brought me a potted plant. “What’s that?”, I asked. He looked at the pot and looked at me and answered, “it’s a rose bush.”
“You brought me a chore?”

Long story short, he doesn’t buy me flowers anymore. I prefer it that way. 😂

a woman with red hair is standing in front of a bush and says `` knock wood '' . Alt: a woman with red hair is standing in front of a bush and says `` knock wood '' .

My husband has had it 2x. The second time he took paxlovid and what a difference it made in his recovery time.

The kids and I haven’t had it…yet.

Me too. I’m only 10,000 away…😉

I made some coins and potion bottles on my printer and my kids are playing a fascinating game of pretend. One child is the scary woods witch and the other runs a lid store, but he only carries one size. Now the witch has a bunch of lids and no coins and he doesn’t know how to get bottles.

😂😂

My 5yo just referred to me as “my majesty” and served me homemade poop slime pie.

I love when when my son tells me jokes that mention his wife. He's 8 so it's pretty obvious a punchline is incoming

I love connecting with everyone, but this stop/start is getting tiresome.

a purple neon sign that says hello there on it Alt: a purple neon sign that says hello there on it

I don’t know if I have the energy to begin again.

I’ll try!