Dude

Sun setting on snow covered Wasatch mountains.

Current view from my front porch. Sometimes life ain’t so bad.

Auto captioning and I both heard “cows” instead of “cowls” which is what they were actually talking about 🤷🏼‍♂️

put my entire foot in a puddle because I was distracted sending this text to my husband. I am having the day I deserve.

Ngl sometimes I miss the Sears Christmas catalog

I won’t be using the term Captain Obvious anymore as I feel it gives too much authority. From now on, I will refer to anyone in that situation as Private First Class Duh.

I've never met a dog that I've wanted to ignore.

Mentally reviewing what to do if my car starts to skid on the ice....I am not driving, and it is 70 degrees outside. 🫥

The US Federal Witness Protection Program is extremely jealous of your filters

When your Italian grandpa says he’s “going to Attica” it’s not prison related. He’s just looking for an old photo

“Never apologize for being yourself,” said the insufferable asshole who should apologize for being himself.

Eating nachos in the morning is how I stick it to Big Breakfast.

Shin Godzilla and Kong are playing with some toys, but a larger beast has decided to interfere. My cat, Spicy Wayne, is stealing toys and the rug.

Me and the old man enjoying the sunshine ☀️

Colorful mural covering an old brick building in Toronto, it's an aquatic theme with a giant octopus and lots of fish and coral and such. The sun is shining directly on it as if to say "hey, check this out!" There is a sign above the door that says 530 Rear. I think it's probably a restaurant or bar of some sort but Im not entirely sure, whatever it is it looks cool as hell. I hope you had fun looking at it and if you read all this alt text you rock. See you next time! (Smiley face)

One of the many things I love about Toronto is all the cool street art

Paul McCartney's eyebrows are my moral compas.

Cue the sparks

Torpedophile

Whole gang clumbering towards an unknown and ominous horizon

*41

The hermetic order of the higgins piggins

Modern day Anthony Kiedis
looks like Hubie Halloween.

You keep loading up on negativity not realizing the side effects are cumulative and exponential. Any off-ramp that might have existed has long since disappeared.

Might call my insurance and see if they will cover a lobotomy.

It's been pretty stressful and all I want to do is go spend $300 on fried cheese.

A panda lies on his back in the grass and stares at the sky

When you search for your value and purpose in the world but you're hangry and all you care about is bamboo.

One of my friends just text me asking if I wanted to go to a hotel this weekend and just eat, sleep and watch crime tv..

Sounds like a proposal to me.

A cabbage as seen in the margins near Lake Ontario is surging upward with vegetal horniness to thrive. I’m not kidding. There’s roots and all.

I don’t know who needs to hear this.

But it’s Wild Cabbage Emerging From Mud Season, you can also erupt from the dirt with purple pornographic zeal to unfurl your freaky shit.

You got this.

The clocks that I didn’t manually change now have their own time zones.

nothing could have prepared me for the mustache making a comeback

Little tan dog on top of Blob's reclined self. Slivers of light from the blinds making patterns on her face and body.

Rest on the chest you love best, I always say.

-dog