Lexa

it's so gorgeous ❤️❤️❤️

But damn if I ain't gonna miss the three and a half week break I just had.

First day of new job today. First time officially in a senior role (though unofficially I was a senior at my last studio). Things seem great so far. It's in the city centre, seems super chill, I feel trusted, it's hybrid office/wfh, and the work is 120% suited to me.

Update on previously mentioned situation of falling for a woman on the wrong side of the world:

We talk constantly when both awake.
We want to be together.
We're making plans for me to visit in a few months if possible.

We really, really, really love each other ♥️💀

Guess I'm learning Spanish!

went into Zara and tried on a 300 dollar dress and it looked bad. went to a discount big box store and bought a 20 dollar dress off a rack without even trying it on, got home, it looks awesome and fits perfectly

The last two years of my life have sucked *so much* and it's one of the reasons I stopped posting on social media. I had honestly thought I wasn't really going to feel happiness again. So I still feel like I'm dreaming, honestly.

Other things that have happened in the last 2-3 weeks:
- my best friend moved in as my housemate, and her company is so lovely to have. We'll be looking for a new place together.
- I fell in love with an amazing woman on the wrong side of the world and it's mutual ❤️

Today was my last day at Robot Circus. It's been a wild four and a half years with a team I've loved working with. I have three and a half weeks off, and then I'm starting a new job as a senior engineer at another local studio. I'm so relieved for so many reasons 😌

I'm getting somewhat close to the space being defined (still plenty of little quirks to iron out); but efficient conversions to and from other spaces into this one still need to happen. That is to say, I need to make the math much more efficient.

if anyone is curious: the space is, geometrically, bounded by six flat quadrilaterals (i.e. it's a cuboid-like shape with non-parallel faces). This means interpolations never go out of gamut or lose saturation unnecessarily (unlike OKLab). Just one of several goals I've had with creating this.

yeh, still needs some tweaking and additional parameters to get the blue-white shifted slightly towards cyan, and the black-cyan gradient has a slightly inconsistent hue atm. but it's getting there

I've been working on a colour space in my spare time, inspired by OKLab & wanting to overcome some of its (IMO) deficiencies. Here's a bunch of gradients; in the twelve pairs near the top, my colour space is the upper row with a plain sRGB interpolation below for comparison. It's a work in progress.

I appreciate the sentiment, but my health problems are preventing me from socialising or doing almost anything at all outside of work, and that isn't just a matter of perspective

there are quite a few. and I'm very grateful for the support they give me when I need it. but since my last relationship ended a couple of years ago i seem unable to feel companionship with almost anyone, and my health problems are only getting worse, and my life feels so small now

i need a reason to keep going

I feel very alone and I don't know how to get my life back and I'm scared.

finally a selfie that represents both how i look and how i feel on a typical office day

i.e. exhausted and also unhappy because it is not the 80s anymore

Went out briefly

"hm, I'm getting more looks than usual today.."
*looks in mirror*
"oh, I guess that makes sense"

unsure if mario kart or Disney movie

(lewd joke that i am very proud of)

winged eyeliner is just serifs for your eyes

went out to an ex co-worker's birthday today. made friends. had girl bury her face in my cleavage. was nice

is there anything indicative of a scrap of hope that society might get better?

really having a hard time finding any reason to believe there might be a future worth living for tbh

staying with family atm

it's not over, I have to get a cleaner in and take photos n stuff, it's a lot to explain

I'm so stressed :(
I can't keep up with just trying to live
let alone moving my life forward

hyperbolic gomoku

10 acrylic stands now