matzo brei enthusiast

meanwhile that other guy is still alive. frickin hell world....

5 pm

if i were being tortured i would simply close my eyes and repeatedly play super mario bros 1-1 in my mind. they'd never break me.

god i'm so sick of this. cornholio is just a CHARACTER that he PLAYS all right? he's not actually like that in real life. GOD

learning about a historical event

Dora the Entertainer

i'm the wolf of main street. getting zooted off smarties and badgering the neighbors until they invest in my gastropub.

vaping is so undignified. why are you as a man sucking on a kazoo.

see i'm still not getting this stuff on bluesky. that's the main problem i'm having.

hm. probably fine

if the sky is falling it means that *somebody* didn't do a good job holding up their half.

i can think of other deliveries that might better convey the urgency of the message

Venezuelans celebrating winning the Nobel.

Congratulations to Venezuela on winning the Nobel Peace Prize. ❤️🇻🇪

and we're stuck with hack cop jim comey and tish james, who i always thought of as coming across as an affectless husk, but who i now realize has a very clear affect: "ai-generated"

doesn't feel good that in the absence of any real leadership trump gets to decide who the face of his opposition is by prosecuting them.

I’m in my 60’s and watched the recent SNL with Bad Bunny as the host and musical guest. He was funny and charming, far more so than Charlie Kirk was.

I live for the occasional radicalized lib in yahoo comments

A boy running alongside a train with a bindle on a stick. A word balloon reads “I’m through with school- it’s only for sissies anyway. I’ll run away and- and make money with my FEET”

Nobody could have imagined the future world that would find this funny and why

the time has come for an autistic anna wintour

i just think it's nice that tpusa is honoring charlie kirk's lifelong commitment to puerto rican independence by refusing to recognize yanqui hegemony. viva puerto rico libre ✊

I'm not dancing around because you're shooting a gun at my feet. I was going to hop around wildly anyway

🚨SPACETIME DISTURBANCE OBSERVED IN BROOKLYN, PLEASE AVOID THE AREA🚨

“Hu’s on First” is a popular manzai comedy routine in the Greater East Asian Coprosperity Sphere

just another deluded saladcel

twitter feels a lot emptier these days but somehow it's still more fun. even as i'm finding most of the accounts i used to follow over there, the feed is still all quote tweets of the latest newsball with the same reasonable but not especially entertaining reactions. gimme something to retweet.

"CP time" isn't just an offensive stereotype, it's completely untrue. all the pedophiles i know are very punctual.

QOG

master chief's long-time partner cortana declined to comment

AI actress tilly norwood died in a single-vehicle crash on california's pacific coast highway before dawn this morning. the warthog's driver—world-famous supersoldier master chief—was severely injured but is expected to recover. early reports suggest she was giving him road head.