Don't look to me for leadership. Sometimes I let YouTube ads play until the end because I feel bad for them.
08.10.2025 23:03
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Don't look to me for leadership. Sometimes I let YouTube ads play until the end because I feel bad for them.
I got new reading glasses at the store and as they gently tried to bag them I said, "Don't worry. I'm just gonna sit on them in 3 days."
She wasn't much to look at. Her eyes were small, chin too big, eyebrows too pale. Oh, but to see her parallel par--to see her par--nope, crank it--I said CRANK--no, OTHER way--keep cranking--how did you pass a driving test?--curb--CURB. Jesus, finally. Oh, but to see her parallel park.
I have zero natural musical talent but I’m writing a song about driving in L.A. It’s called “Shithead In A Tesla On My Ass.”
This Friday's a full moon and total lunar eclipse. Any other ladies over this shit want to meet up at that weird pulsating stone circle that appeared in the Kroger parking lot and combine powers? I'll bring a spinach dip.
La Dolce Villa is #1 globally on @netflix.com for the second week in a row! So proud of our movie.
This Saturday the 22nd on @hallmark.bsky.social, SISTERHOOD, INC., written by me and Hilary Galanoy. Below is a tiny sneak preview!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=85kB...
Thank you!!! It was so good to see her in NYC!
Thank you! He's just a lovely person.
La Dolce Villa is #1 globally on @netflix.com! Thank you to all who have watched. Let's all go in on a villa together!
La Dolce Villa is currently #1 on Netflix! Thank you to all who have watched!
It's not every day your names are on a billboard in Times Square! La Dolce Villa, coming to Netflix this Thursday, 2/13!!
The air quality index in L.A. right now is "You smoked one, so Dad made you smoke the whole pack."
February 13th!
ME: Happy New Year, Dad. We love you.
DAD: That's great. Hey, put the dog back on the phone. I got another joke for him.
I went to a Trader Joe's on New Year's Eve and the parking lot was like the first 20 minutes of Saving Private Ryan.
Whooo! Happy NYE, beloved!
All right, 2024. Call your mom to come pick you up.
I said to my husband, "I don't want to be on the freeway with all the New Year's drunks." And in that moment, the progress bar on my transformation into my dad reached 100%.
If multiple women sit separately in a food court, each quietly eating a salad, do not interrupt us. We are silently communicating through salads, like whale song.
ANDREW NELSON! Good lord, the world is back on track. Hello!
We have a premiere date! LA DOLCE VILLA, co-written by me & Hilary Galanoy, will start streaming on Netflix Feb 13th. We're proud of this beautiful movie, and I even included my favorite story from my parents' first date.
A few first look photos in the meantime...
Unless a sweating Slavic woman with safety pins in her mouth and a thousand curses under her breath didn't properly fit you, you're wearing the wrong sized bra.
Sorry I put aviator sunglasses on the baby Jesus in your nativity scene and started singing “Highway to the manger zone.”
every day I understand a little more why Arya Stark kept that list
It's Friday the 13th during Mercury in Retrograde, which means it's a terrible time to sign the lease on that lakeside cabin
Sorry I pretended I was drowning so you could see how incredible my hair looked underwater.
I'll host a Christmas party but only if a torrid secret emerges to jeopardize the serenity of our modest suburban street.
You would think a book deal would be forthcoming.
