Mike Saltzman 🟦🟨

Hell yeah.

I guess... The whole global economy is just waiting for enough people in Congress to decide it's time to take away the tariff keys from Grandpa?

Im ready for my uncle to remind me how he couldnt possibly vote for Tim Walz because he called someone a dipshit, and that was very unpresidential.

(All in my opinion) Tesla was like a Ponzi scheme, that also made cars, long before #Elon tanked the brand. Those red dashes are Tesla insiders dumping car coins. Musk can’t sell (presumably) without triggering a death spiral, and he borrows against the shares. Elizabeth Holmes has nothing on Musk.

Why does merit sound so much like nepotism? Must be the woke mind virus.

It's not a conspiracy theory. It's a question.

If you imagined a world where Trump was a Manchurian candidate trying to destroy US power in the world and undermine our economy-- would he really be doing anything differently?

We need to see the unedited tape. Sam says there was even more insane positions.

Probably another brilliant rebrand from the very stable genius's first buddy.

I know what youre thinking, fascism cant possibly be this clownishly incompetent... and I assure you, this is actually surprisingly a normal amount of incompetence for fascists.

...This is maybe... you know, a reason not to elect them.

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For years, people would look at me strangely when I said I didnt have/want a debit card. If a scammer gets your pin or auth code they can drain your account-- they are inherently risky. You should 100% only ever use it at an ATM you trust for cash-- if you have one at all.

So what country are y'all thinking youll tell people you're from next time youre abroad? Easy option is Canada... but Im wondering if I can go without spit in my food if I say New York.

So... the guy with access to all of our personal data, and who is going around as "tech support" and firing tons of "unnecessary" people in the govt. Yeah, well, his platform went down from hacking or a DDOS. Idiocracy.

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Canada to put a 100% tariff on Teslas??? #elon

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Elon bragging about not going to therapy as some virtue...

For people who hate socialism, they sure dont mind socializing their emotional issues onto the rest of us.

Thats a good start-- but really, what we're all wondering is what else can you do for JD and Trump. Their feelings are awfully hurt and it's going to take a lot for them to recover from the great insult of not being complimented enough.

Tesla is absurdly overvalued as an auto stock and just a bad deal as a tech stock. Luckily for investors, it’s a magical thinking stock—and business is booming in that department. Sure, I can cut $2T from the $50B USAID budget. Easy!

To be fair, Elon is at war too. War with civil servants, war with baby mamas, war with a trans daughter and most of all, a war against fashion.

Trump in a timemachine (1943): Churchill was very mean to me and thats not how you make a deal, Churchill. Hitler told me how you provoked this war, and now only Trump can get you out. I dont see what's in it for us. Time to get a new attitude Churchill or youre country is going to the dogs.

Vance and Trump were upset that Zelensky visited during an election, suggesting it was implicit endorsement.

Gosh... I wonder why he might've wanted to endorse Biden (or Harris) over Trump. Real mystery there.

Meanwhile, Zuck and Musk out here acting offended and like you just threatened to take them to gulag.

I never realized being "Respected Again in the World" would feel like being the embarrassing jackass Grandpa whose family doesnt talk to him anymore.

I could only watch that... like 10 seconds at a time. It was the cringiest thing Ive ever seen.

Episodes of The Office have nothing on Trump and Vance in The Oval Office.

My god. Watching Donald Trump and JD Vance lecture Zelensky has got to be one of the most embarrassing and shameful things Ive ever witnessed. Heartbreaking.

Increasingly, we are just watching super cringe episodes of the office. This is Michael offering laptops batteries in lieu of the college scholarship he promised.

The Oval Office show is nightmare fuel... Still, now I want to see a Steve Carell parody of this circus. Hang in there Zelensky 😓

Watching Elon musk tell "jokes" at the cabinet meeting is more cringe comedy than any episode of the office.

Dude is Michael Scott but without the empathy.

Ooooh Im sure Elon lol'ed super hard and LOVED this. He's very into dank memes and trolling...

Oh what? He doesnt find it funny? Oh no! Maybe just tell him its a Roman poster and the maker has autism then?

Elon Musk's next genius idea: a telephone call line youre required to call. Thank you for calling DOGE. Press 1 if youd like to voluntarily resign because youre a woke leftist. Press 2 to hear a dank epic meme. Press 3 to repeat this menu. hanging up will be taken as a voluntary resignation.

In 2025, The West Wing seems so crazy and fantastical that it might as well be reclassified as Sci-Fi.