Andrew

In spite of my constant whinging, life does like to give me reminders that I’m actually so incredibly lucky.

Has anyone else noticed everything is terrible and they constantly feel like garbage? Haha, just a silly little observation.

Those earrings with that crop top? Eats

A screeshot from the Notes app. The note reads: “Scream and Shout Int. A dark room. Maybe a school classroom or something. Two characters frantically burst in and slam the door closed behind them. Character A: We might have a better chance of losing him if we split up! Character B: No! Don’t you know the rules of a horror movie? Never split up! Character A: This isn’t a horror movie! This is real fucking life! Both characters turn to stare directly into the camera. The masked killer kicks down the door and calmly enters the room. He walks up behind the victims, also staring into the camera. He stabs and kills them both, all characters making eye contact with the audience and no longer speaking or screaming throughout. No music. Title Card”

Let’s make our own new Scream movie. Here’s my pitch for the cold open.

A humple offering this fine Wednesday

Helllllll yeahhhhhhhh

Having the sort of day where every little thing that goes mildly wrong threatens to send me ✌️spiraling✌️

Gotta get those game leaks somehow 😆

Instead of re-downloading social media apps, I’m only allowing myself to log in from a web browser and honestly it’s been great for balancing my time spent online. 10/10 highly recommend.

Starting the new year with a social media cleanse. Don’t get up to anything crazy while I’m gone 🤪

Wearing boxers? What do you think I am, straight??

I would but I don’t have it 😭 Please don’t sue me.

I simply don’t care about the storyline that goes, “My life is sooooo perfect. I’m hot and successful but no one can know I’m gay!” -> “Oh, now that people know I’m gay my life is even more perfecter than before!”
Gratuitous amounts of sex don’t help either.

I try not to be too much of a contrarian when people are enjoying something, but I just can’t bring myself to want to watch Heated Rivalry.

Heated Rivalry deserves recognition for reminding us that things always work out for hot people ❤️

Celeste! My girl!

Had a dream last night that the first guy I crushed on turned out to be gay after all and now I’m sad we didn’t stay in touch through school because I want to find out if it’s true 😆

I wouldn’t know!

Miami? More like Mi-paint-mi!

Miami? More like Mi-ain’t me!

Miami? More like Mia-me!

Throwing back ibuprofen with an energy drink? Maybe I really am gym trash

Benny says “hi.” 👋🏻

If you really think about it.. lamps in video games use real electricity

The US Postal Service gets treated like a business, but at the end of the day it's a government service. It'll never happen under this administration, but it seems like we're due for a discussion about the USPS becoming a taxpayer-funded agency once again.

Me: Finally I can play Christmas music

The music:

Dimples are cute 💕

Incredibly grabbable 🤗

The eternal struggle

Oh of course. An extra set of eyes and pair of hands goes a long ways