i have so much i want to do. i have so many ideas in my head but no idea how to sit down and plan things out or do them properly. i think maybe it will be easier when i move and i know i have no more pending "big tasks" but i'm frustrated that i'm not where i could be yet
ont tell anyone i’m online here but it’s been really nice today just doing what i want and actually resting
wish it didn’t happen as a result of coping w bad thing but idk
maybe i should do it more
i’ve just been binging it since i got back and i love it so much
i started watching bridgerton and holy fuck the start of the second episode punches you in the gut
🫂
i love my boyfriend so fucking much bros
he drove us to a 24HR shop because i realised i don't have any plain black shirts or jeans without tears in them and im supposed to wear that for my first day of work
i will be so tired tomorrow but,, waa,, the effort + literal lengths he goes to for me:c
very true
bpd is crazy cause i forget completely how joy feels and its almost intoxicating when i have a good day
i’m so obsessed w myoshi,,, i gotta learn html/css to make my profile cute,,,
im sorry im sick
i don’t wanna turn this into a vent i just wanna explain incase my head is all over the place and im more forgetful than usual
im very happy to have the job and i know things will smooth out i just struggle w change quite a bit
i am so tired and overwhelmed because of schedules changing i know it’s good that i have a job and now will likely have a social life even if it is just customer interaction but i feel like im forgetting something everyday and just ufhfhf
i keep replaying it over and over because he said it with such genuine tone and like,, without me asking necessarily for reassurance. like we were just watching some dogs play in a field on our trip.
im gonna go cuddle him and sleep hard but uuu i love that man so much idk where i'd be without him
i can't stop thinking about how he held my hand and said that nothing but good things have happened to him since he met me
i spent a good majority of my life thinking i was an omen and that i'd be better leaving people alone or i'd make them miserable. this is like.. gold, to me. its so invaluable
so eepy sleepy but i need to get home and lock in awawaa sorry if im super low energy 2day
awaaa thanku dew !!
thanku soul eee
basically even though things are still bad it feels like im finally waking up and things are getting better, its gonna take time but im really hopeful that this year will be good to me
i dunno mayb thats dum :3
i think im getting better with choosing outfits that are actually comfortable and look cool so its not cluttering my mind so much
i am actually 150 !! days clean, even though i've had a lot of really bad days where i wanted to relapse, i resisted it, and i think i can beat my previous record of 250
im done crashing out at overwatch im gonna actually go bed now but a few things that i feel like are kinda nice but i cant bring myself to actually say anywhere:
i looked in a mirror today and actually recognised myself for the first time in like several months (dissociative episode FINALLY over)
updated pinned post
yes this is the alt account of kofidere but everything here is just like dumb personal thoughts, doodles, rants etc
its 18+ but only because sometimes i want to make + post vent art. no lewding please!
please dont bring up stuff here on stream/in public discord channels 🙇♀️💗
hello i’m reusing this account again cause i wanna ramble more without spamming main so !!
i also feel like its maybe a good way to feel connected with people without the scary of vcs & dms n stuff idk !!
but hi :) ♡
i just hope to be the best at something, one day
i think its supposed to be. lots of accounts get through the cracks though :c
genuinely grimaced when i saw the labels
im so anxious about my birthday, about my debut, about the future. i dont know if i can do it
this!!
its even worse bcs person i am subtweeting about (which is really immature and i feel kind of bad about it) is SURROUNDED by artist friends
its so ignorant!
i’ve journalled a lot these past few days, its been really nice to get my thoughts out and colour code my habits n stuff. i hope i can keep to it
i’d like to hug them and go to the movies with them and go get pizza together and sit in a park and talk for hours about everything i think it’d be so nice but they live so far away in every direction
i hope one day i can meet my friends
