a man in a suit and tie is laughing while holding a banana . ALT: a man in a suit and tie is laughing while holding a banana .

Me: I want to go out after work today and do something fun.

My body:

Persephone (Sephie) is also trans.

Getting spotted at the Asian grocery store:

Get a dog, they said.

In all seriousness, these people need a lifetime jail sentence (no bail 🙃) or to have a friendly meeting with a guillotine. Whatever's more appropriate/convenient.

Man, people in power need to stop taking Jonathan Swift's A Modest Proposal so seriously. You do know it was satire, right??

Taking joy in the little things is so incredibly important right now. I had a surprise visit from my youngest sister yesterday and it was so great to see her face and get to spend time with her. We have to find those moments, even while the world is on fire.

But have you ever even experienced the pure joy of trying to give a cat a pill it absolutely does not want, bro?

ICE recruiters be like:

In our hands is placed a power greater than their hoarded gold,
Greater than the might of armies, magnified a thousand-fold.
We can bring to birth a new world from the ashes of the old
For the union makes us strong.
Solidarity forever,
for the union makes us strong.

Glad that we're commercializing the death of empathy (now for kids!) and telling your family members you think they need to get laid under the thinly veiled guise of a pre-paid "dating" app subscription.

The end is in sight and it ain't pretty.

If the first side effects I see when I look up the drug are exactly the same as the symptoms I'm listing off directly to you, I'm just riffing here, but maybe you shouldn't work in medicine.

a woman in a blue robe is sitting in a kitchen with the word perfect written in front of her . ALT: a woman in a blue robe is sitting in a kitchen with the word perfect written in front of her .

Man, I love getting the exact side effects from the rescue medication I just took to get rid of those symptoms. No notes for this doctor. 10/10 prescription.

Not someone mistaking an egret for a housepet on Nextdoor this morning...

Have I mentioned how much I love it here?

Why does every presidential corruption scandal revolve around Deep Throat?

a black and white drawing of a man laughing with the words " whieeze " above him ALT: a black and white drawing of a man laughing with the words " whieeze " above him

Art of the Deal, more like Art of the Kneel.

To be clear, I levy this same criticism at websites like delish, The Pioneer Woman, Southern Living, etcetera. But at least these feel more like the internet equivalent of purchasing a physical cookbook, though it still feels icky to me.

Especially with all of the crazy things happening in our everyday lives, the last thing I want to do is lick your boot for a brownie batter cake recipe just so it boosts your engagement on social media.

There must be a special place in hell for people who post food videos with "comment RECIPE and I'll send it to you :)" as the subject. This is the modern equivalent of recipe gatekeeping from the 50s and is just disgusting behavior.

a video game character with a blue armor and a shield ALT: a video game character with a blue armor and a shield

Happy N7 day! Just finished my 3rd playthrough two days ago.

HELL YES CHICAGO KICKS ASS AND HATERS KICK ROCKS

Give us Lord our daily fiber. Forgive us our diets' lack of fruits and vegetables. Save us from the leftover Halloween candy. Now and Later, Good & Plenty. Amen.

Reading a book for work. Turns out it's very kink-positive.

No Kings Chicago!!! 🇺🇲

We out here. ✊🏻