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Plug McSassy

@sj.gg

NYT journalist not on the epstein list, stop asking endorsements ≠ endorsements he/him/himbo check out my website

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Latest posts by Plug McSassy @sj.gg

get good?

07.03.2026 05:48 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

is, he raeding my skeetes?

07.03.2026 01:23 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

this would no-joke fix everything

07.03.2026 01:22 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

that's fine too

07.03.2026 01:20 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

that's right

07.03.2026 01:20 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

yes actually i do bring chopsticks to the movie theater. why do you ask

07.03.2026 01:11 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

if you haven't tried eating popcorn with chopsticks................ you're welcome

07.03.2026 01:07 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 5 📌 0

[dr looking at x-ray]

well, unfortunately… (removes glasses)… it looks like your brain was built on top of an ancient indian burial ground

06.03.2026 21:36 👍 63 🔁 4 💬 2 📌 0

what if sexy gets away? will justin timberlake be available in the future

06.03.2026 22:11 👍 2 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0

i’m not that old :(

06.03.2026 21:59 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
(Beartato and Reginald, in a museum, gaze upon the Mona Lisa)

BEARTATO: There it is. The Mona Lisa. The most famous painting in history.
REGINALD: Wow! What's it do?

BEARTATO: It... what?
REGINALD: Why's it famous? What's it do?

(Beartato thinks.)

BEARTATO: I don't know.

REGINALD (to nearly museum employee): Excuse me! Sir? What's it do?

EMPLOYEE: You're the first person to ask! Watch this!

(The employee yanks a pull-string. Mona Lisa's eyes spin around and her mouth opens like a puppet)
MONA LISA: Honk honk! Honk honk!

(Everyone is delighted. This is true art.)

(Beartato and Reginald, in a museum, gaze upon the Mona Lisa) BEARTATO: There it is. The Mona Lisa. The most famous painting in history. REGINALD: Wow! What's it do? BEARTATO: It... what? REGINALD: Why's it famous? What's it do? (Beartato thinks.) BEARTATO: I don't know. REGINALD (to nearly museum employee): Excuse me! Sir? What's it do? EMPLOYEE: You're the first person to ask! Watch this! (The employee yanks a pull-string. Mona Lisa's eyes spin around and her mouth opens like a puppet) MONA LISA: Honk honk! Honk honk! (Everyone is delighted. This is true art.)

True Art

06.03.2026 19:03 👍 5684 🔁 1304 💬 29 📌 14

Five-Star General: (gravely) Sir, Operation Epic Bacon is not going awesomesauce

06.03.2026 21:55 👍 147 🔁 20 💬 3 📌 0

sorry, breastises milk

06.03.2026 19:51 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Pharoahe Monch sounds like a knockoff Halloween-time cereal that you add breastmilk to

06.03.2026 18:01 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

also FUUUUUUGGGHHKGKGKUCK

06.03.2026 08:19 👍 1 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0

wow you’d never guess from looking at him

06.03.2026 08:18 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

i made jim davis write “these events are canon” on a comic strip where he drew jon arbuckle drinking dog cum and he hired a crisis pr firm about it

05.03.2026 05:12 👍 255 🔁 57 💬 1 📌 0

it still is. just gotta cut deeper

05.03.2026 15:41 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

who up wiping they dude

04.03.2026 05:56 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

wow

03.03.2026 16:51 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

during my next rap battle i’m going to compare them to the gross little strings you have to pull off of your banana

02.03.2026 12:53 👍 195 🔁 46 💬 12 📌 0

demi lovato is cockney rhyming slang for half a potato

01.03.2026 23:37 👍 56 🔁 11 💬 3 📌 0

is that why this sewer rat is dancing?

01.03.2026 23:45 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

next time somebody leaves a lime scooter in my driveway i’m taking it to the dump

01.03.2026 23:44 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 1

it’s giving time for bed grandma

01.03.2026 23:28 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

could a dying empire do THIS

01.03.2026 19:06 👍 3466 🔁 631 💬 78 📌 21
who approved this?
who approved this? YouTube video by Peter Draws

youtube.com/shorts/Un8zQ...

28.02.2026 15:47 👍 1 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 1

why is some bullshit always happening. stop!!

28.02.2026 06:34 👍 109 🔁 11 💬 1 📌 0
viktor winetrout posted: preemptively sucker punching my congressman in the balls (40s ago)

hey i’m josh posted: preempt deez nuts / i’m going to bed (41s ago)

viktor winetrout posted: preemptively sucker punching my congressman in the balls (40s ago) hey i’m josh posted: preempt deez nuts / i’m going to bed (41s ago)

what the hell just happened

28.02.2026 07:17 👍 6 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0

hall a lou yeah!

26.02.2026 16:42 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0