The fake Michael Bertrand's Avatar

The fake Michael Bertrand

@fruvous73

A very strange man who writes things. VFS alum (Writing for TV and Film program), thinker, philosopher, comedy writer, academically gifted, socially retarded, lover of long lists of adjectives, and the only rationalist materialist mystic poet in the world.

671
Followers
662
Following
7,733
Posts
14.09.2024
Joined
Posts Following

Latest posts by The fake Michael Bertrand @fruvous73

Finally, someone gets it.

09.03.2026 09:27 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
Post image
09.03.2026 03:42 πŸ‘ 15 πŸ” 6 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0

And yet a mad part of you wants more, right?

Quick lesson : pain is electric and therefore instant. Endorphins are chemical and therefore slow.

So the pain is over instantly but the endorphin rush lingers on.

This is exactly how masochism works.

09.03.2026 09:26 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Just reading that gave me heartburn. :P

But I'm glad you liked it!

09.03.2026 09:24 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

No. The ultimate answer is fascism. They love it. They love not having to think about what to do ever. They love having no real decision making responsibilities. They love being scared little children who just have to do what Daddy says.

They never liked freedom anyway.

09.03.2026 09:23 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

OMG, I love you SO MUCH for this!

It's such a nerdy way to be irritating!

I feel humbled, and grateful.

09.03.2026 09:21 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

BB: You keep putting things in the bathroom sink. It’s not a storage space.

Me: Disagree. It’s like a caldera. From an engineering perspective, it’s a local energy minimum. Items placed there will stay where they’re put unless a fairly large force acts upon them.

BB: πŸ™„

09.03.2026 00:03 πŸ‘ 76 πŸ” 5 πŸ’¬ 7 πŸ“Œ 0

My dog's dander is everywhere so I'm singing to him, "All the things you shed (all the things you shed) Running thru my head (running thru my head)"

08.03.2026 22:13 πŸ‘ 367 πŸ” 14 πŸ’¬ 15 πŸ“Œ 3

Star Trek : We Really Are Hypocrites!

09.03.2026 09:19 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
A road cuts through Grand Teton National Park. 

Tall pines intersect the road giving rise to the alpenglow lit Grand Tetons shining red and purple.

A road cuts through Grand Teton National Park. Tall pines intersect the road giving rise to the alpenglow lit Grand Tetons shining red and purple.

I like refried beans. That’s why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they’re just as good and we’re just wasting time. - Mitch Hedberg

Pic of the day
#photography

08.03.2026 03:16 πŸ‘ 2977 πŸ” 209 πŸ’¬ 89 πŸ“Œ 11

Good god. I have no idea how I would figure this out. I envy people with this level of mental organization.

09.03.2026 09:17 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

You've lost tone, and conditioning. Both can be regained.

It'll hurt like industrial strength fuck at first, but if you can power through that, you'll get it all back.

09.03.2026 09:07 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

I am learning to accept the fact that if I really want to get back into cooking, I will need a new kitchen gadget.

I hear good things about air fryers.

But what I really want is a microwave with convection oven so I can bypass our malfunctioning oven and I can BAKE AGAIN.

But sigh, $$$.

09.03.2026 09:05 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

"We did the best that we could. "

Literally WHAT level of incompetence would that not excuse? "Yes, we chopped our children up with axes then fed then through the woodchipper, but we were doing the best we could. After all, we have tough childhoods too. "

09.03.2026 09:02 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

The guy from yesterday was like β€œwell who’s YOUR chosen candidate if not Newsom” and people told him and he pretended he couldn’t see the responses

08.03.2026 18:07 πŸ‘ 529 πŸ” 27 πŸ’¬ 7 πŸ“Œ 0

Definitely in the top twenty so far.

09.03.2026 08:59 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
Post image
09.03.2026 06:32 πŸ‘ 5 πŸ” 2 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

I recently learned that a large portion of my depression was actually a B12 deficiency.

I'm not cured or anything but I feel a WHOLE lot better ever since I upped my intake.

Now how do I send emails back in time...

09.03.2026 08:57 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0

They are too stupid and too weak to ever think for themselves and therefore cannot question him. No, Daddy can't be wrong. Deciding Daddy is wrong is wrong. No matter what Daddy says, it's right, because otherwise we would have to think and exercise judgment and be grownups again.

09.03.2026 07:11 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Put them all in the same remote prisons they herded immigrants and innocents into.

Then "forget" to try their cases and "lose" their papers.

09.03.2026 07:07 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I want ICE agents to be afraid. I want them to run and hide from the justice that will come when this regime ends. And I will personally advocate for their life sentences.

08.03.2026 17:05 πŸ‘ 6200 πŸ” 1055 πŸ’¬ 208 πŸ“Œ 45

Miracle/religion/joke not worth it.

Yes, it is. For one, for being a radio friendly song that is no less weird, poetic, or deep than any other REM song.

09.03.2026 07:06 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

β€œLosing My Religion” is a damn miracle of a song.

08.03.2026 14:08 πŸ‘ 3173 πŸ” 150 πŸ’¬ 130 πŸ“Œ 23
A cartoon of Pete Kefsbreath shouts at American flag-draped coffins: β€œSTOP TRYING TO EMBARASS THE PRESIDENT!”

A cartoon of Pete Kefsbreath shouts at American flag-draped coffins: β€œSTOP TRYING TO EMBARASS THE PRESIDENT!”

08.03.2026 04:36 πŸ‘ 13748 πŸ” 3817 πŸ’¬ 255 πŸ“Œ 129

So you pull your own pork? *innocent eyes*

09.03.2026 07:02 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
Post image

Made pulled pork for dinner!

08.03.2026 23:01 πŸ‘ 1961 πŸ” 60 πŸ’¬ 109 πŸ“Œ 5

Sometimes I get frightened by the idea that I might actually be as smart as I sometimes think I am.

And then what??

09.03.2026 05:56 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Me, 2/3 of the way through Season 2 of Beastars :

"GOD DAMN IT, FUCK ALREADY! "

Seriously, I don't know how either of them can resist the other. Legoshi is all deep and poetic and strong and dedicated and BIG and totally my type, and Haru is cute that she reminds me I am not *entirely* gay.

08.03.2026 23:47 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Go for it. Few things will cost him his remaining support faster.

08.03.2026 05:30 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Only the lowest of scum would crow about beating up on a country that is so very much weaker than yours.

08.03.2026 05:26 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0