twll

…filming a gherkin?

Affirmations✨

Amazing news <3

I said one of these from under a blanket:
“They’ll charge you a corkage fee on a Pot Noodle.”
“I feel like a Bene Gesserit envoy.”
“When you’re at the supermarket and hear the beep, think of the fun you could be having driving a Toyota Corolla.”
“A juicy support vehicle.”
“Cowardly retirement home.”

I see NZ also has patches of homeopathic 5G.

My alt text was absolutely magnificent, though. :C

Oh yeah, I blame Jaguar for using the wrong letter.

Pregnancy repellent.

Observation: Woolworths supermarkets are laid out by the criminally insane. Almond butter next to steak. Easter eggs next to Brie. USB cables next to biscuits. Insect repellent next to gravy. My favourite: condoms next to baby supplies.

I did a scoot. It was very scooty.

Someone at NFC please crush Neo, thanks

I said one of these in the menswear section of an H&M:
“I’d be the Stasi’s best friend.”
“What about uptight jeans with daddy issues?”
“She’s being followed around by a bunch of people who are impressed with her shoes.”
“Do not drink the Cloaca-Cola.”
“I’m suffering very badly from peek-a-boo.”

My engine brings all the girls to the car park. It’s like it’s louder than yours. I would show you, but I have an Anti-Social Behaviour Order.

Det vil ta meg veldig lang tid å komme dit! Bare oppføre seg! <3

Gå til seng, brøml!

Å, dumme, fengende norske sang, hvorfor sitter du fortsatt fast i hodet mitt?

I said one of these while trying to understand some fine art:
“Those monsters at the IOC just can’t catch a break, can they?”
“That man’s got hobbit feet.”
“Do you often find yourself staring at a chessboard and thinking, ‘why am I even alive?’.”
“Mother! I am wearing too many petticoats!”

DeWALT electric power with universal bit socket.

Hand mixer heads, which fit in a DeWALT power drill.

I have found a kindred spirit.

Go to bed, Novra.

Dolphin!!!!

Dolphins!!!!!

DOLPHINSSSSS!!!!!1

aaaaa dolphinsssssssshdjfithejsgdiagsjfjgskfjeurbfjsjdhhjkaaaaaaaa dolf innzzz!!!

Y’know, just casually crossing the Cook Strait on a boring ol’ passenger ferry and suddenly:

We have been campaigning for bigger, sturdier seesaws for years.

Décor in a New Zealand McDonalds. It reads “the world is your playground”.

and yet here you are… having breakfast in a McDonald’s.

You can regurgitate them back out into the bottle again afterwards!

Observation: Valve makes the Steam Deck and Valve makes Deadlock.

1x eyestrain later, a further observation: Deadlock’s interface was not designed to be used on the Steam Deck.

I said one of these at Te Papa NZ National Museum:
“Wrap me in mushrooms and pastry and serve me like I’m the capital of New Zealand!”
“Giving my sandals a haircut.”
“George Michael’s gone abstract!”
“Suck it off the bedcovers.”
“No-one likes Tit Fighting.”
“I think it’s all the generational guilt.”

I mean… I am a prick, but you gotta get to know me first to find that out.

I have more than once ended up with a reputation for seeming rude because of completely missing the cues that someone wanted to do sex things with me at cfz (go team undiagnosed autism and ace!!) and instead of talking to me about it, they just told everyone they knew that I was a prick.

I said one of these to a stranger in a noodle bar:
“Trying to pick up prostitutes at high speed”
“Lorde: New Zealand’s Tori Amos.”
“You had a mouth enema!”
“I am carrying around the smell of ham.”
“Put your teeth back in, Sia.”
“Deep-fried chicken with petrol.”
“Haunted by an apple with four teeth.”

They’re the same picture.

Three bottles of Kevin Murphy branded toiletries assembled into a wall mounted holder. The design of the bottle features a prominent embossed K. Once lined up and secured, the bottles spell out KKK.

Do you think Kevin Murphy’s packaging designer knew this would happen when installed in a hotel shower?