mr. cannoli

that shameful second trip to the bathroom just to wipe

just stood in the sun for 5 minutes trying to receive its boons

you gotta fight! for your right! to suckkkkk me!

i don't think anyone would want to kill me or destroy my country

i could see myself being leader of iran i think id do a good job

the bathroom is a type of museum

i've never known what's happening and i'm not going to start now

don't know if anyone has heard but i'm going to do something incredible someday

has anyone seen my dick and balls, i lost them about a mile back

i don't have any post ideas

The heat death of the universe is going to happen this weekend

buddhistly jacking off

the religion i started as was buddhist but apparently it has a secret cannibal aspect?? the game keeps trying to get me to eat my prisoners and adopt cannibalism into my religion tenants lol

guess im doing this lol. my rules are that the character i play cannot become nudist themselves, i want to preserve the purity of the culture. i want to revere them as holy, and they shall inherit this miasmatic earth

i had this idea to start a game as adventurer in papau and collect an army of nudists and then travel plagueworld and try to make the whole world naked

ck3 settings unlimited black death doomsday plagues

fuck it lets go on a adventuree

i'm going to dig a big hole in the soil and become a tree

i ate a cookie

really got to figure out a way to stop hating every second of my life

drinking a nice cold cup of 3 day aged coffee

guess i'll take a shit, maybe piss a little

guess what i was doing when i went over 24 hours without tweeting. yup you guest it. something

a whole day and no post #wow #damn

i should do something heroic with my life like take the first half of flying lessons

*gets handed every existing socioeconomic privilege and opportunity to succeed*
*still becomes a total fuck up*

thinking about giving up, anyone try this

my us government teacher got cancer halfway through so they had the school baseball coach sub the rest of the semester and we watched star wars ep 1-6 and our grades were based on bringing him red vines.

Hi. Things have just gone from tight to extremely serious. I know I've had this up for a while and am just one person in need out of so many, but anything at all is desperately needed. Thank you so so much.

anyway, i literally hate posting about this, but i am broke as fuck and it feels like every job i apply for isn’t even real.

links are in my bio/i am regretagarbo on everything

does anyone want to just cut my fuckeng head off