/ᐠ◞ ‸ ◟マ

. . . . . .. . that's.. a lie.. partly.. . mostly there's hero with joker.. but .. whatever.. .

i.. . i love him a normal amount.. i guess..

want smth good to suddenly happen.. but im not doing anything for this.. i can.. only try continuously.. draw.. you.. and maybe i'll get smth good . . or maybe not.. but even so.. i.. . just.. l. . forgive me..

with you..

. . .

it hurts .. forgive me.. i know. . it's too mediocre.. i can't do anything better.. i can't.. do anything at all. . just.. don't leave me..

too unfocused, lost and kinda tired at all.. so as usual randomly do really sketchy messy relatively fast practices.. just to do smth.. it feels so meaningless but whatever.. just.. to draw him.. once more.. again. . and again.. i love..

little practice.. such a fool.. precious . .

❀

you..
#persona5

im scared to do anything.. at this moments i especially love returning to you.. let's have this little 'date'.. it's so calm here..

this should be ..

tired of 'watching' all these hero/joker scenes in my head.. i can't put them all on canvas at once.. don't see all of them properly to put on canvas too.. forgive me.. i'll try... i've putted a lot already... . but i want a lot more.. a lot more canvases of you..

.. unfortunately i don't look like cute catgirl.. . also don't look like joker.. .

this recent one also was that relaxing.. i like.. i like to use layers as saves.. and draw on minimum layers / mostly on 1-2.. im glad that back then i gave up on line/lineart.. and just tried other ways..

like when things are going like this.. it's so relaxing.. but.. . the same mistake i like to make.. to draw half of the face at the very beginning and then.. he.. he's staring at me.. this way.. . that's.. a little.. too much.. but im glad i can draw him like this even as practice.. . .

want you to look alive.. and at the same time as you should look.. but still not too realistic.. you're so far.. you don't exist after all.. don't..? want to try.. to make you look alive.. . .

practice.. #persona5

forgive me.. i'll draw.. again.. you.. soon.. hope.. . my love.. .

. dead.. need to draw tomorrow no matter what just after all that was too crazy for someone like me .. . bags.. fuck it..

still can't understand it but.. im happy people like my works, my things .. just.. i love my works a lot but don't understand why for what others like it too.. thanks..
.and..love him.. .

it's.. four years this year.. . im still.. still..
hope.. event will be fine .. and after that i can draw calmly again .. waiting if i get an invitation to another one or no .. im glad the last thing i've made for now is that messy hero/joker thing.. . love to see it.. love.. . you.. precious..

and found hero/joker works by Sageo there .. if i remember correctly.. that changed a lot.. it was 2019-2020?.. then p5 fixation got asleep and started its return.. ? in 2022 spring?.. and that almost autumn when i started trying to draw and spent hours almost every day trying again and again..

im crying.. someone already said they will send other person to buy my things today and they're happy to see fate even there's not too much of it?.. i remember how fate and then first p5 fixation were close to each other.. because of fate i liked to search things on pixiv ..

help me tomorrow.. you're so strong.. forgive me love you. .

made a playlist, packed clothes and shoes but i still don't want to pack merch .. event is tomorrow.. how did it end up like this.. im glad i finished that sketchy thing yesterday since i won't be able to draw for tomorrow and maybe will draw but not too much today.. maybe some practice.. my love..

can't.. .

want to split up. . my beloved clown and fool.. it hurts my mind a little to think both ways ? gladly it's mostly .. around p5.. you.. .want to be .

every time i load my current p5r run i get confused .. every time almost forget that this time i named him differently than usual standard name. . is name i came up with good enough and suits him..? don't know.. and can't use both names that i came up with for both of them but game isn't about it so