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Matt Sims

@mercifull.com

(Ex)Viral poster, “comedian”, radio producer, cosplaying dad, failed YouTuber, 80s fanboy & one of the UKs lowest ranked pinballers. Views expressed are my own. @Mercifull in most places.

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19.09.2023
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Latest posts by Matt Sims @mercifull.com

So Philip Glass just joined TikTok. He only has like 4 posts and they’re simply him in what I assume is his living room playing the piano. First comment on one I saw was “your piano is too close to the fireplace, you’ll dry it out” and if that’s not the internet in a nutshell I don’t know what is.

06.03.2026 03:10 👍 4418 🔁 832 💬 55 📌 55

Was Geoff waiting for the next QuickD? 🙃

05.03.2026 22:20 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
It's a lungfish. Imagine a weird long fish that's had it's lips done, so it's somewhere between a pout and a puppy face. It's fins are definitely on their way to being legs, evolutionarily.

It's a lungfish. Imagine a weird long fish that's had it's lips done, so it's somewhere between a pout and a puppy face. It's fins are definitely on their way to being legs, evolutionarily.

Look at this guy! Half fish, half axolotl, half puppy. 150% CREATURE.

05.03.2026 20:42 👍 3 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0

Supermarkets and Amazon have convinced us we need to buy expensive pre-made costumes and that’s just not the case.

05.03.2026 09:40 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

I swear by Season 6 Ed is gonna look like Dick van Dyke at the SAG Awards

05.03.2026 07:34 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Sit on your front lawn with a portable hob and cook some bacon and eggs as they run past.

01.03.2026 09:29 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Platinum Invictus award (for donations to Scientology orgs of +$60 million)

Platinum Invictus award (for donations to Scientology orgs of +$60 million)

You mean like the ISA gala Scientology awards?

27.02.2026 13:17 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
George Osborne

George Osborne

For me his legacy is the photo that was in the local Newspaper when he visited a cider factory.

26.02.2026 10:34 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
Tv too high

Tv too high

20.02.2026 09:08 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Fair comment. And a lot higher.

20.02.2026 09:06 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
Bland new build living room.

Bland new build living room.

Fixed it.

20.02.2026 08:58 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

I read once about a system whereby you could upload your OWN intimate images & they could block any resharing by others. But that requires a) you uploading your own images b) sending those exact same images to someone else c) excludes any intimate images taken by others of you/deepfaked/modified.

19.02.2026 08:29 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
A skier with silver gaffa tape round his legs

A skier with silver gaffa tape round his legs

Daggit from Battlestar Galactica

Daggit from Battlestar Galactica

17.02.2026 19:00 👍 85 🔁 9 💬 1 📌 0
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We interrupt tributes to Jesse Jackson to bring you your daily dose of racism.

Thanks, Beeb. Respectfully handled.

17.02.2026 11:42 👍 789 🔁 276 💬 75 📌 41

Death by mau mau.

16.02.2026 21:46 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

When he listed things in threes, that wasn’t a tell — it was a signal. A cadence. A rhythm designed to drive engagement, maximise retention, and unlock value.

16.02.2026 21:44 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
The Oliver twins.

The Oliver twins.

The Oliver twins are going to be at the Bristol video game convention at the end of the Month. Proper fangirling about it.

16.02.2026 11:21 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
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This is my age verification.

#RuneScape

11.02.2026 07:25 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
10.02.2026 12:43 👍 3676 🔁 1085 💬 28 📌 18
Comic. [2x2 chart. Top left quadrant: seem like dinosaurs x are dinosaurs. Silhouettes of dinosaurs stegosaurus, triceratops, tyrannosaurus, velociraptor, and long-neck dinosaur. Top right quadrant: seem like dinosaurs x are not dinosaurs. Silhouettes of mosasaur, quetzalcoatlus, dimetrodon, plesiosaur, and pteranodon. Bottom left quadrant: don’t seem like dinosaurs x are dinosaurs. Silhouettes of penguin, egret, ostrich, pigeon, falcon. Bottom right: don’t seem like dinosaurs x are not dinosaurs. Silhouettes of squirrel, stapler, plant, person, and bicycle.]

Comic. [2x2 chart. Top left quadrant: seem like dinosaurs x are dinosaurs. Silhouettes of dinosaurs stegosaurus, triceratops, tyrannosaurus, velociraptor, and long-neck dinosaur. Top right quadrant: seem like dinosaurs x are not dinosaurs. Silhouettes of mosasaur, quetzalcoatlus, dimetrodon, plesiosaur, and pteranodon. Bottom left quadrant: don’t seem like dinosaurs x are dinosaurs. Silhouettes of penguin, egret, ostrich, pigeon, falcon. Bottom right: don’t seem like dinosaurs x are not dinosaurs. Silhouettes of squirrel, stapler, plant, person, and bicycle.]

Dinosaurs And Non-Dinosaurs

xkcd.com/3204/

09.02.2026 21:10 👍 8715 🔁 1980 💬 103 📌 97
Facehugger plush

Facehugger plush

08.02.2026 07:34 👍 7 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Tories need to tread a careful line between attacking Starmer but not so much that he is ousted and replaced by someone more popular

04.02.2026 20:21 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

May the first person who has forgotten they were given £75k cast the first stone.

02.02.2026 08:24 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Fly tip

Fly tip

These booking systems prevent households from having clear outs or performing home improvements, they prevent garden work from occurring and as every weekend slot gets booked up inevitably increases flytipping.

31.01.2026 10:01 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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Booking system to launch at North Somerset recycling centres The 15-minute slots at Weston-super-Mare, Portishead and Backwell need to be pre-booked.

I can live with reduced bin collections, dropping from fortnightly to three-weekly or having to separate recyclables into a dozen different kerbside boxes. But I cannot think of anything worse or counter initiative than having to book to go to the tip www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

31.01.2026 09:58 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Final Update: A pair of tickets were sold at the last minute. At least it wasn’t entirely empty. #Melania #MelaniaPremiere

30.01.2026 18:45 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Update: with just 5 hours to go the lone ticket purchaser has now cancelled their seat for tonight’s evening premiere screening at my local Odeon.

30.01.2026 12:16 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 1

@tallstorygames.bsky.social how’s cat in space coming along? Can’t believe it’s almost been a year since my daughter played your demo at Bristol Video Games Expo. She still plays it regularly and sings along.

30.01.2026 09:57 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Plot twist: turns out 2 of those seats are reserved in Screen 7 for every screening of any film at that cinema for as far as I can look forward implying that there might be an issue with them rather than genuine tickets sold. So actually it could just be 1 ticket sold for the Melania premiere!

30.01.2026 07:15 👍 1 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 1

Update: A third ticket has been sold today for the premiere screening of Melania at my local Odeon. For some reason, they have opted to sit next to someone who was previously sat alone.

29.01.2026 09:39 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 1