America’s only patriot 6’3” IQ 72

Hold on, I’m writing this down

This thing rules, if you’re reading this skeet, stop what you’re doing and try this

I could kick this kid’s ass

thx, so are u

Thanks for reminding me that this first picture exists! I’ll be in my bunk.. 𝒿𝒶𝒸𝓀𝒾𝓃’ 𝑜𝒻𝒻!!!

FARTY SUPREME.

Farty Supreme

Farty Supreme

farty supreme

more like farty supreme ha ha

👈🏻🙃👈🏻

👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻

You can fuck my girl, big man

One salami is a salamo

this is like an ad for bisexuality

It’s actually really easy and fun to get away with drinking while driving if you’re good at driving while you’re drinking (obeying the rules of the road, safety first etc)

I used to be gay but I’m not anymore

Hey Audrey, this shit sucks!

there is no one reading this that I wouldn’t k1ll if it meant that no harm would come to this little guy

What is the right natural wine for me

This isn’t a shitpost, I’m gonna be in NYC next month and will be having dinner at a place w/ an extensive selection of natural wines. I ain’t know nothin’ about wine!

Hey TANG, check this out. “Not the momma!”

proud of u Elmer, keep hustling

Wow

Kinky

jk it’s pretty normal sized and is neither too wet nor too dry

I am the proud owner of a Swarovski™ brand crystal Shrek figurine, I am an American Express™ platinum card member, I own my car and my house, I am tall and handsome and I have a head covered in thick, luxurious hair. I have enormous, smooth, pleasant smelling nuts, and a tiny, damp penis

Feels good to jack off to!! 🦶💦

They sell a Reuben at Mac Donalds. Secret menu item. Requires a secret handshake and you have to eat it in the bathroom

Jack. I am inside of your house right now