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Simon Wistow

@thegestalt.org

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10.04.2023
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Latest posts by Simon Wistow @thegestalt.org

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This chart made our whole team cheer. 👏

Turn on shielding → watch your origin traffic flatten into a smooth, optimized dream. That’s exactly what happened for the @rustfoundation.org when they enabled shielding on Fastly Compute.

The before/after? VERY satisfying. #FastForward

10.12.2025 17:39 👍 6 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 0

AD-ROCK: Yo Ebenezer you gotta show re-
BEASTIES: MORSE
AD-ROCK: Redemption is not a mere matter of
Beasties: COURSE
MIKE D: We’ll show you Bob Cratchit’s not a lazy
BEASTIES: MOOCHER
MCA: We’re Christmas Past
MIKE D: Christmas Present
BEASTIES: AND CHRISTMAS FUTURE

05.01.2025 20:01 👍 7458 🔁 1807 💬 62 📌 63
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Electronic Frontier Foundation Defending your rights in the digital world

EFF is thankful for @fastly.com's generous support, helping keep eff.org online.

26.11.2025 21:26 👍 42 🔁 8 💬 0 📌 0
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a man with a mustache is sitting on a swing in a park Alt: A man with a mustache waiting for something in a park, in an empty pool, at a dinner table for one

Just sitting here waiting for the emergency Missed Apex episode from @spannersready.bsky.social and @mattpt55.bsky.social like

09.07.2025 15:48 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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🚀 Big news! Honeycomb has acquired Grit, a powerful codebase analysis engine, to supercharge our mission of helping engineering teams answer the most fundamental observability question: “Why isn’t my software doing what I expect?”

Read more in this blog post from our CEO: buff.ly/zRMJwFS

10.04.2025 17:00 👍 19 🔁 4 💬 2 📌 3

Don’t quite get people who live tweet F1 races … surely anyone who cares is either watching already or is going to be pissed about the spoilers.

I mean - I’d get it if it was commentary or colour but it’s just a statement of what’s happening: “Alice overtook Bob!” … gee, thanks!

16.03.2025 15:54 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

The infrastructure of the Internet would run longer without electricity than without trans folks tbh

16.02.2025 03:21 👍 3226 🔁 702 💬 31 📌 19

“So, we’re doing yet another plane crash where, err, two famous Vinces crash into each other?”
“Fuck it, no one actually cares anyway”
“I can’t believe I have $250k of college debt from Tisch to be writing this dreck”
“What’s that?”
“Nothing. Pass the drugs over will you?”

11.02.2025 16:36 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

“Err, you just said that bro”
“Nah-uh”
“No, you did dude. Like, just now”
“Err, in that case Vince ... Vince … Vaughn.”
“The guy from Anchorman?”
“Yeah man, that film is so funny. Me and my dawgs quote that to each other ALL THE TIME”

11.02.2025 16:36 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

“… and make it Vince Neil so we can play some sweet Crüe, maybe a couple of babes with, you know, the big teased out blonde hair. Like my neighbor Mrs Constanza used to have”
*inhales massive line of cheap amphetamines*
“… and who should it run into?”
“Dude, make it Vince Neil from Mötley Crüe”

11.02.2025 16:36 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

“So, what happens next?”
“Another plane crash?”
“That’s like the third one this month”
*chugs bottle of Southern Comfort*
“Fuck it, no-one fucking cares anyway”

11.02.2025 16:36 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

The private plane owned by Vince Neil from Mötley Crüe ran into the private plane owned by Vince “Swingers / Dodgeball” Vaughn in Scottsdale, AZ killing one person and the writers of this season of “America” aren’t even trying to make things plausible anymore.

11.02.2025 16:36 👍 7 🔁 0 💬 2 📌 0

also you know trump is fucking worthless because kendrick already conquered the only part of Canada that any decent American needed to defeat

03.02.2025 04:19 👍 294 🔁 31 💬 4 📌 4

Did my finger slip? Cue frantic looking through email and checking my account.

No - I realised that the calendar invite was from “Siri Suggestions” (which I presume is part of Apple “Intelligence”) and it had hallucinated that my browsing was somehow booking.

Good 👏 Job

22.01.2025 14:24 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Around 8:30 last night I was on my phone looking for restaurant reservations for later in the week via Opentable when suddenly I got a notification “Coming up: reservation at [restaurant] at 9:00pm - it will take 15 minutes to get there”.

What?! Did I accidentally reserve dinner for tonight?

22.01.2025 14:24 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Oh, I'm actually kind of liking it and he user experience is pretty good. I like the fact that things are labelled "Pay attention" not "BAD!" or "Sub-Optimal".

I literally have a box on my timeline that says "It's going to be alright"

13.01.2025 21:08 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Quoting from the post "There's a certain kind of person who's attracted to a shallow, exacting kind of moral purity, and who demonstrates his purity by attacking anyone who breaks the rules"

Hahahahaha *pause* Ahahahahahaha

Have you fucking seen Hacker News you oblivious tapioca brained simpleton?

13.01.2025 19:15 👍 3 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0
A screen shot from perennial pit of wrongness Hacker News linking to a blog post called "The Origins of Wokeness" by perennially wrong Paul Graham, a man who won the lottery once and is convinced that makes him an expert on everything.

A screen shot from perennial pit of wrongness Hacker News linking to a blog post called "The Origins of Wokeness" by perennially wrong Paul Graham, a man who won the lottery once and is convinced that makes him an expert on everything.

Me (sarcastically): I bet THIS will be a thoughtful and nuanced take on this subject from a man who has been frequently and spectacularly wrong about many, many subjects, even those he is purportedly an expert in.

Narrator: It Was Not

13.01.2025 19:10 👍 9 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0

At some point I think it becomes impossible to tell. But at least it’s *quantified* now.

13.01.2025 16:20 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I had FSA money left over so I bought an Oura Ring at the end of the year and it’s great because now, at 3am when I can’t sleep, I can look at the app which will show data telling me that I have insomnia.

13.01.2025 15:58 👍 10 🔁 0 💬 3 📌 0


Again and again. Each iteration he degrades further as a person. A slow descent into inhumanity.

At the end … ego death? But not the freeing, liberating experience. A person completely disconnected from the network of relationships that is society.

10.01.2025 15:58 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0



… almost not a film but a Jim Jarmusch style series of vignettes where Mark stares into a mirror, tries something new to make people like him, it fails, something inside him dies.

10.01.2025 15:58 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

The robotic Congressional appearance, the “hunting my own meat” phase, the bbq sauce thing, the “slathered in zinc” photo, the MMA fight, the T-pain rap, this debasing himself in front of Trump …

10.01.2025 15:58 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

Reading about the leaked changes to Facebook’s moderation policy I found myself wondering about a sequel to The Social Network with Jesse Eisenberg just portraying Zuck as an ever sadder clown.

10.01.2025 15:58 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
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The Militia and the Mole Outraged by the Jan. 6 Capitol riot, a wilderness survival trainer spent years undercover climbing the ranks of right-wing militias. He didn’t tell police or the FBI. He didn’t tell family or friends....

"Outraged by the Jan. 6 Capitol riot, a wilderness survival trainer spent years undercover climbing the ranks of right-wing militias. He didn’t tell police or the FBI. He didn’t tell family or friends. The one person he told was a ProPublica reporter." #Democracy https://www.propublica.org/article/…

04.01.2025 12:36 👍 121 🔁 33 💬 3 📌 1

It’s the faint reflection of the thumbs up that’s *chef kiss* 🤌

27.12.2024 19:22 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
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I see the GC’s are upset over on the hellscape because a drag queen was on the panel on last nights Blankety Blank, all while forgetting Lily Savage hosted it for a number of years and they didn’t say a thing.

27.12.2024 11:43 👍 248 🔁 45 💬 11 📌 9

“You will be visited by three spirits”

The three spirits:

24.12.2024 06:03 👍 6 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0