If I can’t finger the nostrils of my colleagues and their wives, then whose nostrils am I supposed to finger?
06.03.2026 07:38
👍 2
🔁 0
💬 0
📌 0
If I can’t finger the nostrils of my colleagues and their wives, then whose nostrils am I supposed to finger?
And everywhere else, while we’re at it.
And his name is “Markwayne.” That’s disqualifying on its own.
I think he meant that to be an em dash, but he doesn’t know how to type it or even that it’s a different character from a hyphen.
945331, checking in.
There's much to say about what's going on, but what strikes me the most is just how embarrassing he is. The guy who launched an illegal attack that will lead to war and the likely destabilization of much of the Middle East for no real reason is posting like a middle schooler struggling with English.
Naming your kid Markwayne is pretty much setting him on the path to being a chucklefuck.
I always wanted to fly a plane with throttles on the ceiling. The closest I got was a Dornier 228, which had what looked like a car window crank on the ceiling to adjust the rudder trim.
Is that a Twin Otter? I see throttles on the ceiling.
I think he has to stick with the bizarre capitalization. People have pointed it out, and if he starts capitalizing correctly now, he’ll be admitting that he’d been wrong before. That's something he’s constitutionally unable to do.
But that would interfere with infrastructure week.
“It was the best of times, it was the… listen, these were the best times. Many people are saying there have never been better times, okay? Times that nobody thought were possible. Well, we’re having even better times now, better than Joe Biden could even have dreamed of.”
Every time I get a push notification on my phone, I think for just a second, “Did it happen?” and then I’m disappointed.
Trump knows more about spreadsheets than anyone who’s ever lived.
Sir Michael Statement Regarding Winter Olympics Speed Skating Final 18/2/26 To whom it may concern, It is with a heavy heart that I publish this statement. This evening sees the final of the men's Short Track Speed Skating at the Winter Olympics and it is with a heavy heart that I must announce that I will not be competing in it. Please be assured that I have not taken this decision lightly but, for the following reasons, I believe it to be the right one: - I do not own a pair of skates and feel this would put me at an unfair disadvantage. - I don't know which direction I'm supposed to skate around the circuit and I would feel very embarrassed if I went the wrong way. - I've got a check-up with my dentist at 9:15 tomorrow and I don't want to risk not being back in time because it's a very busy practice and it takes ages to get a new appointment. I have suggested that they should hire an additional dental hygienist but so far they have not listened. - The other skaters might be angry at me for not competing in any of the qualifying rounds. - I've just checked what outfit speed skaters wear (skin-tight onesies) and I don't think I have one of those and I would feel awkward asking one of my competitors if they have a spare suit that I could borrow. - I don't know if it's a communal changing room but I have unusually small nipples that I'm a bit self-conscious about and I don't want the other skaters to make fun of them. I know some people will be disappointed by this news but I ask that you accept my decision and not try to change my mind. Furthermore I ask that you all accept the result of the race and do not discredit the gold medallist's achievement just because he didn't beat me. That is not his fault and he deserves respect regardless. Thank you and good luck to all the competitors in tonight's race.
Statement regarding tonight's final 💔
Now that I think of it, it might have been a roller skate, but I think they’ll overlook that if your other skate is an ice skate.
As luck would have it, I saw a discarded skate in my neighbor’s garbage bin earlier today. It was just one—left, I think—so you’d have to come up with another one, but this would get you halfway there. On my way home I’ll see if there’s a onesie in there.
I flew planes with EECs for a long time, but I wouldn’t know what it means to trans them.
And ABEAM yesterday, while a bunch of bullshit words were allowed.
I got it at the eleventh hour just by randomly guessing things that seemed pronounceable.
Leopards, face, etc.
Every Epstein email looks he was drunk, put his phone on the floor, and typed it with his big toes.
Damn proud of Minnesota.
they’re abducting our neighbors and putting them in concentration camps and they’ll empty a whole goddamn magazine into you while you’re lying on the ground if you don’t cheer them on while they’re fucking doing it.
Wow—George Soros must have shelled out a pretty penny to hire all these people.
"Give me the peace prize or I'll kill you" seems like a pretty funny joke until it literally unfolds on the world stage
That‘s not the first time he’s done that. “Stollen” made frequent appearances in “rigged and stollen election.”
