The mechanic removed the back plate and inhaled through pursed lips. "Who did this?"
"I did," the robot said.
"How?"
"I took one arm off, put in a wireless interface so I could still use it, and put it in a vice, then turned-"
"OK. Why?"
"I needed fixing."
"You are allowed to ask for help."
There used to be an old sign by the path, warning passers-by of the local sleeping willow, which would trap the unwary with fatigue, engulf them while they slept, and release them a hundred years later.
There was a new sign:
"This sleeping willow is full."
And a map of other locations to try.
"I bought this enchanted sword," the student said. "It glows in the presence of someone who questions their identity."
Buying such a sword was a strong hint, the swordmaster thought. "And it glows?"
"It glows regardless of how far away I am!"
"Ah. Is it a sword, or an identity doubt detector?"
Ssh, you'll wake them...
One can dream...
😁
The professor brought a large box.
"Here, I built you something."
I've tested many of her inventions, so...
"A doll house?"
"Scale 1:24. Put it on the floor and press that button."
We shrank.
"Time also scales. A full night's sleep here is twenty minutes."
"There's only one bed."
"Details."
I heard stories of people who've fed crows, and been given gifts in return. It sounded charming, so I began doing that.
Then, one night, there was a rapping on my bedroom window. I stumbled up and opened.
A crow flew in and spoke: "They're coming for you. You must flee."
I only just made it out.
** Over on Tumblr, one of my stories has reached a milestone - 100k notes - largely thanks to the comic adaptation a reader made of it in 2024.
You can see it here:
www.tumblr.com/microsff/809...
**
I stand in the yard as the sun rises behind me. My shadow stretches out in front of me.
The sunrise shadow contains all you've done, everything you've been. I see triumph, defeat, love, loss, and dreams.
One could get lost; reminiscing, reflecting.
One could.
I shrug and get on with my day.
It was one of those days when nothing goes right. I managed to hit a button that wasn't there in the lift, and instead of taking me to the fourth floor, it took me four worlds sideways.
I've gotten used to it here, but I really miss dodo burgers.
"Will there be treasure in this dungeon?"
"I'm sure there are some silver candlesticks, but we're after the library."
"Books again? Last time we almost died just so you could read the final volume in the Nightraid Saga."
"This is the library and archive of the Dungeon Builder's Guild."
"Oh? Oh!"
No, you have the maths right. If you are risk-averse, you can FA in ways that bring relatively little FO.
Humans, Xtrrt implies, are not risk-averse, and hope it will be worth it.
It is hard to admit ignorance, so when one of the new recruits to the Pangalactic Bureaucracy raised a tentacle with a question, Xtrrt let them ask.
"What is 'fafo quotient'?"
"A Human term. Fuckaroundment over Findoutability. We stay over 2.718. Humans..." Xtrrt paused. "... hope for over 1."
In his house at R'lyeh, dread Cthulhu lies dreaming. There is a nudge on his back.
"Fgimb?" eldritch Cthulhu mumbles.
"Scoot over a bit."
The elder god complies, and soon resumes dreaming.
Being spooned alters the dreams.
"Mhrrm..."
"Yes, it's nice."
The visitor snuggles in and falls asleep.
"I see you have a new sword," the swordmaster said. "May I have a look?"
"No," said the student. "It is a cursed blade. I would only draw this in dire need."
"What kind of curse? Must draw blood, or will betray you?"
"It will speak, and tell an embarrassing truth about both wielder and opponent."
"I know I asked for a classic noir model, but is that meant to happen?"
"What do you mean, sweetheart?" the sexbot asks.
"You're smoking."
It looks at its empty hands. "No, I'm not. Do you want me to?"
"No, I mean-"
"Oh bleep, I'm overheating!"
I send it to the shower.
Heh. Still got it.
You can have two stories. As a treat.
;-)
The dragon heard someone disturbing their hoard. Looking in, they saw a knight checking a bejewelled sword.
"There you are! May I buy this?"
"You have a sword," said the dragon.
"It's for a valentine!"
"A sword?"
"What better gift to give?"
"Hm. That one is blunt. I'll find a sharp one."
Very good!
"I have questions about this interstellar travel form," the human said. "What should I put at 'Rose'?"
"The star system you are traveling from," xFfy said.
"I see. And at 'Violet'?"
"The one you're traveling to."
"Ah. Who translated this form?"
"Our best poets, well versed in human poetry."
It's one of my favourite webcomics, though I can't decide which of the central trio I love the most. :-)
"Does the role really require a woman?"
"No?"
"Or youth?"
"Er... No?"
"Is being royal or nobility a must?"
The dragon hesitated. "It's traditional..."
"We can mention that it's a position traditionally filled by a princess," the HR consultant said, "but we do welcome all applicants."
"Okay."
Exactly that!
I have been trapped for ages. I grab a door handle; it breaks off. It's chocolate.
"Ahaha!" The mad chocolatier's laugh rasps from hidden speakers. "Everything here is made of chocolate!"
I stop. Everything? I focus on my fears... They manifest as chocolate monsters.
I eat them.
"You're free."
I think I have solved that one: Pluto is a planette.
** If you don't know what's eligible to be nominated, the Hugo Award Spreadsheet of Doom has a lot of excellent suggestions.
Especially helpful for the fan categories - writer, artist, and fanzine - which many struggle to find eligible nominees for.
**
Thank you!
** Hugo Award nominations are now open! As usual, I am eligible for Best Fan Writer - I wrote a summary of my year here:
microsff.com/2025-wrapped
(Hopefully someone will comment with a link to the spreadsheet of doom where you can find lots of other possible nominees.)
**
"Oh," the emperor of the galaxy said, "what happened to that monkey world?"
"Our agents infiltrated them some eight thousand years ago."
"Have they taken over the world?"
"Not yet."
The emperor licked a paw and started washing his ears.
"I'll still count it as one of mine," he purred.
