Ian Miles Schlong

If I were one of the pundits in question I would be like “hey, why is that nazi bartender running for senate?”

Jack - maybe you shouldn’t have sold twitter to the world’s most insufferable egomaniac nazi you stupid shithead

Karoline, the president is a stupid piece of fucking shit, and I’m tired of you pretending otherwise.

sometimes the TL is just perfectly aligned

He gets a pass for this. Let’s find another line of attack

He's a diddler, old chap.

Indubitably

Really creative word there. Great job

Now that every politician cusses like degenerate trash all the time, I’m inclined to find less vulgar ways to express myself. “Oh fiddlesticks bro, the president is a molester” I think gets the point across in a more sophisticated and family friendly way.

Body Heat meets Old Yeller

South Dakota's "Meth. We're on it" campaign

I'll always remember Kristi Noem for the "Meth. We're on it." campaign.

Kristi Noem can now spend more time pursuing her first passion, animal husbandry/murder

Mr: why does that sound familiar
My brain: oh you're thinking of John Wayne Gacy that's why

It’s literally part of our birthing classes in Oklahoma. What booze does the baby like best in the womb is lesson number one.

"But ultimately never did" is wiki's polite way of saying she was hammered the entire time.

He certainly acts like someone whose mother drank heavily during pregnancy

You try going through labor when you’re sober

It sounds like the potential for drunkenness was still there

LOLOLOLOLOL

That's reasonably close to the story on wiki (he had uncles named "Mark" and "Wayne" and his mom put both names on the birth certificate planning to change it later and never did).

“Markwayne” sounds like his parents were too drunk to choose a name when that little turd dipshit was born so they just wrote down both

Hey remember years ago when that yt woman said something racist about going to Africa and hopped on the plane and they started the whole hashtag about how she's going to find out she's fired by the time she lands? Yeah.

I've got in on in the background. I know they'll say otherwise but there is no fucking chance she knows

She might not even know she was fired??? Lololololol

Wait Kristi Norm has been doing a press conference for a half an hour and apparently hasn’t acknowledged the fact that she was fired from her job??? LOLOLOL WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE

Lmaoooo did she even get to have extramarital relations on her taxpayer funded private jet yet??? 🤣😩🖕 What a loser

He needs to come back and look at my nuts

Would be cool if Democratic policymakers could stop referring to the MAGA slogan of “America First” like it’s something good or aspirational

The guy has bad news written all over him