die hard is NOT a christmas movie...
25.12.2025 13:08
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die hard is a black friday movie...
28.11.2025 13:59
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die hard is a thanksgiving movie...
27.11.2025 07:22
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die hard is a bonfire night movie...
(in the UK)
05.11.2025 15:50
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die hard is a halloween movie...
31.10.2025 16:02
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if you liked that wait until you hear how he got his chocolate chute filled to the brim with gloop...
28.09.2025 02:14
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🫂
14.09.2025 23:02
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be the reason mall santa "needs a minute", before the next person sits in his lap
10.09.2025 16:14
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your pornstar name is just your mum's name
12.09.2025 19:58
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"oh yeah? well how about you 'everlasting gobstopper' on these you fucking weirdo" charlie said, stuffing another oompa loompa bollock into wonka's mouth...
12.09.2025 11:26
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🫦
12.09.2025 07:34
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👋 🧀
11.09.2025 16:44
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🫂
06.09.2025 04:51
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let’s flood the house with carbon monoxide, make love, pass out sex-drunk & call it a life
06.09.2025 02:22
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Actually, how even did Gwyneth Paltrow get away with selling that candle? Like if there was a Robert DeNiro candle called, “This Smells Like My Penis” it would be borderline sex offense.
06.09.2025 03:14
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But have you tried a comically large sandwich about it?
06.09.2025 03:38
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I got filter straws for the apocalypse so who wants to come over and drink the creek water behind my house with me to see if they work
06.09.2025 01:18
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In my experience you should shut the fuck up
06.09.2025 00:19
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die hard is a labour day movie...
01.09.2025 06:33
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float like poop in a hot tub, sting like wasabi in your lube...
31.08.2025 10:06
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View from behind of a guy in a hard hat and hi-viz vest that has "Manhole Assessor" written on the back
Here to judge the skeets
30.08.2025 23:47
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the story about pinocchio's nose growing longer was all a lie
31.08.2025 00:07
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I’m wearing lots and lots of clothes
-me flirting
30.08.2025 16:11
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worm in my apple, thought of you
31.08.2025 01:35
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Not to brag but I haven’t acted like a psycho once today
30.08.2025 19:06
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