Allison Hantschel

The guy who did my tattoos said there's an industry term for Nazi tats.

"Salary caps."

The guy who did my ink said there's an industry term for Nazi tats.

"Salary caps."

Oh they did? All by themselves? Did they show up all at once or arrive separately?

I would not make it through a Federalist Radio Minute without a rage stroke.

The metric shit ton of Easter candy already on sale at the grocery store would like a word.

It's amazing how much of political journalism is just someone proudly declaring, "I am a tiny baby who has never learned a single thing in my entire life."

Thanks!

Objective journalism language!

And did you answer his riddles three?

Thank you!

Irish internet, where am I eating in Dublin, keeping in mind I will have a 12-year-old with me (who's pretty adventurous food-wise but not up for the bar scene yet)?

This is the way.

He also got shot in the neck fighting the kind of people this administration is arming.

Purple Heart Band-Aid Party strikes again.

It's the "we should just turn that whole place into glass" guy from your dad's bowling league, but like as an entire foreign policy apparatus.

Okay her instagram hair extensions fill me with irrational rage.

Because at the moment of decision, it's just you, and the decisions you've made, and the risks you've taken, which are no less terrible for having paid off.

All it takes to get everything you want is everything you have, and everyone you have, and it all could have gone so wrong.

And if the ultimate scene is the St. Crispin's Day speech, if Henry's a party down good time boy most comfortable among his men, if he needs a mountain to climb, this is the moment the crown settles on his head.

The actor playing Henry was wild and mad and damaged, and when he got the news that they'd won, he heard it over the radio. In the dark.

Alone.

"Praised be God, and not our strength, for it."

There had been steady gunfire, and it went silent.

My favorite production of this play, which I cannot even talk about without crying, was at a tiny outdoor community theater. They set it in World War I.

Trenches, those wind-up radio/telephone things, sirens, the whole nine terrifying yards.

After my mother-in-law died and some time had passed, my father-in-law started dating again. He was flabbergasted by the women he could pull.

I was like well, you can cook and clean up after yourself and you look at girls in the face when you talk to them.

"Don't take much these days, does it?"

Henry V or GTFO

Is there any way to know if one of them is lying?

Vance and Dolan beefing is incredibly funny to me given how much water Dolan has carried for this administration and the trads writ large

oh word???? the 24/7 racism caucus kept doing racism 24/7 even when it created problems for you personally???? whomst could have predicted

SICK.

His EARS!

Whenever one of the critters is suck I remind myself how much they've saved me in therapy bills just by flopping around my house.

"What is a woman?"

"Your mom."

I mean don't threaten me with a good time ...

The hog embiggens.

“The Greater Masshole-Minnesota Sovereignty traces its origins to a pair of unrelated incidents: the Battle of Minneapolis in winter 2026 and the Dunkin Uprising that spring.”

—The Decline and Fall of the United States vol III, 2279