New Action Cookbook Newsletter!
The weekend is here, and I'm ready to spring ahead with an overly-elaborate home brunch, some chill music and an easy-chair book. First, though, I want to talk our technological nemeses, and how The Computer Is Not Your Friend.
www.actioncookbook.com/the-computer...
bringing back the shah, but it's Matt Shaw
I personally blame the presence of the hard seltzer (bad) for the spotty availability of the original (sublime), even if Dave's reporting makes it seem that they're unrelated. I still blame the degenerate cans.
kill the imposter syndrome in you head because not only is there someone out there doing it worse than you, they're also using chat gpt to do it
Anyways.
[lowers sunglasses]
like brother they didn't fucking ask you and they don't fucking need you
why are these men who suck lonely!?
weird how nicely this meshes with the stories about how Gen Z men aren't having sex
People who shrug off sports don't understand how useful one conversation about sports can be.
and I’m digesting it comfortably because I am not a tiny baby
(there’s no chocolate in skyline)
a skyline chili cheese coney dog, but you’ll have to take my word on everything but the cheese as that’s all that’s visible
enjoying a hot dog (not pictured)
Headline of a Q&A in New Yorker formatting Headline: A panicked middle-aged man refuses to tell me directions to the bathroom. Subhed: Please, I just have to pee. I'm in a hurry. By Isaac Chotiner March 4, 2026
Excuse me. Oh, God. Oh, no. Holy shit. Get away from me. I was wondering if you knew where the bathrooms are. Look, I'm ... it's not a crime to scroll through your high school girlfriend's Instagram account. We remained friends after high school! I was at her wedding! It's only natural to see how she's doing.
I'm in a bit of a hurry, and I'm afraid that if I choose the wrong corridor, I'll be late for my train. I think they're down that way, but I'm actually from out of town. Please stop talking to me.
Real quick, though. I agree that it's natural to be interested in an old friend, but aren't you afraid about the message you might be sending by liking a picture of her at the beach from 2015? If that did happen, and I'm only going off your word, it was probably an accident. They put the ... scroll bars or whatever ... close to the thumbs up button. People have been complaining about that for years. I've been complaining about that for years.
"a guy who believes in Trump's war also believes that being interviewed by Isaac Chotiner will go well for him" is in and of itself a data point against the war
WaffleEyes is advising all patrons to immediately leave the combination Applebee's and pancake house, which they obliterated with a missile strike 35 minutes ago
there's just a whole swath of humanity right now as dumb as the dumbest dog you've ever met, bringing us dead animals and expecting us to be proud of them
for my own sanity, I'm pretending it's parody. deep down, I know it's not.
I don't know about that, but it is the first one within range of WaffleEye's missiles
Meanwhile, intelligence reports suggest that the first-ever combo Waffle House and Popeye's is only months away from developing a nuclear weapon
Got it. I'm sorry for your loss. To clarify: You want a eulogy for your father that's 𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗾𝘂𝗲, sounds 𝘀𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘁, and captures the 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗵𝗶𝗺. I get it. He wasn't just your father — he was your Dad. Here a few options I came up with:
well, I did use chili sauce
to my knowledge ketchup isn't a part of it? en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_...
I hear this a lot, and it's true.
I did a riff on that like five years ago as a gag.
I mean, banana ketchup is a thing. Why *not* banana relish, I say? Our hot dogs demand it!
banana relish, you say?
I'm very interested in this beef, though.
to be fair, the reason I couldn't do 1K on Pinewood today was that I already did it a few years ago: www.actioncookbook.com/confessions-...
don't it always seem to go, you don't know what is gone 'til you've got / they paved parking lot, put up a paradise
