Rachel (she/xe) 🇸🇬 | Autistic As Fxxk ♾️

Why I struggle to trust myself The world was telling me my reality was wrong. I learnt to override my own instincts to align with what adults told me was true.

The world was telling me my reality was wrong. I learnt to override my own instincts to align with what adults told me was true.

www.autisticasfxxk.com/blog/trust-m...

My focus for 2026: community building 2026 has been really overwhelming for me so far. Aside from everything that’s going on in the world, I’m still feeling destabilised over possibly being misdiagnosed with selective mutism for 30 years.

2026 has been really overwhelming for me so far. Aside from everything that’s going on in the world, I’m still feeling destabilised over possibly being misdiagnosed with selective mutism for 30 years.

www.autisticasfxxk.com/blog/2026-co...

How I deal with impostor syndrome and rejection sensitivity I keep a log of compliments I’ve received in a note-taking app on my phone. I take a look at them whenever I’m experiencing impostor syndrome or rejection sensitivity.

Here’s a life hack you could try out this year if you’re prone to rejection sensitivity and impostor syndrome. (It has become kind of a tradition for me to repost this every new year!)

www.autisticasfxxk.com/blog/imposto...

Background is purple with a crumpled paper texture. Text reads, “Your worth does not depend on: • How well you mask. • How independent you are. • How gifted or intelligent you are. • How productive you are. • How useful you are to society. • How inspirational you are to neurotypicals.”

Reminders for the new year!

It sure is!! ☺️

Selective mutism? Situational mutism? No. I am a virtual mute. Tired of explaining why neither “selective” nor “situational” mutism fits my experience. Here’s a term that actually does.

Tired of explaining why neither “selective” nor “situational” mutism fits my experience. Here’s a term that actually does.

www.autisticasfxxk.com/blog/virtual...

I probably sound a little bitchy and defensive in this post. But honestly, who wouldn’t be if they had to endure a lifetime of bullshit? I’m done accommodating people’s comfort at my own expense.

www.autisticasfxxk.com/blog/actuall...

How systemic inequities lead to internalised ableism When every system tells you the same story about yourself—that you’re defective, lazy, unintelligent, incapable—it’s almost impossible not to believe it.

When every system tells you the same story about yourself—that you’re defective, lazy, unintelligent, incapable—it’s almost impossible not to believe it.

www.autisticasfxxk.com/blog/systemi...

Impostor syndrome as a semi-speaking advocate Surely there are other Singaporean Autistic advocates who are much more intelligent, qualified, eloquent, and respectable than I am. I’m just a girl who can’t speak “normally” and never attended unive...

For a very long time, I had this impression that only people who went to university, were super learned, and spoke eloquently could be advocates or activists. I’m just a girl who can’t speak “normally” and never attended university.

www.autisticasfxxk.com/blog/imposto...

Coming to terms with having medium support needs Identifying your level of Autistic support needs in Singapore is confusing (at least in my experience).

Identifying your level of support needs in Singapore is confusing (at least in my experience).

I hope this blog post gives you a nuanced view of how autism and support needs are perceived in different cultural contexts!

www.autisticasfxxk.com/blog/medium-...

…I’m sure there are more that I didn’t list here!

(It’s also the month of my birthday and Halloween! 🎂🎃)

🤯 Found out that October is an awareness month for many things…

- Selective/Situational Mutism Awareness Month
- ADHD Awareness Month
- AAC Awareness Month
- Disability Employment Awareness Month
- Down Syndrome Awareness Month
- Breast Cancer Awareness Month

How my selective mutism is connected to childhood trauma (part 2) After sharing my last post about the connection between my selective mutism and childhood trauma, more memories and realisations have continued to surface. Perhaps they finally feel safe enough to res...

Part 2: www.autisticasfxxk.com/blog/selecti...

How my selective mutism is connected to childhood trauma I was diagnosed with selective mutism at the age of four, and my selective mutism has always been unusual in its pattern: I was completely mute around my grandparents until the day they died, while I ...

For Selective/Situational Mutism Awareness Month, I’m reposting these 2 deeply vulnerable posts I wrote earlier this year. I hope my sharing helps people better understand the deeper aspects of Selective/Situational Mutism.

Part 1: www.autisticasfxxk.com/blog/selecti...

Special interest infodump: a history of my celebrity crushes It was a consistent recurring pattern throughout my life: I would go through phases of becoming completely obsessed with a particular male celebrity. And then after a period of time—around a year or s...

Idk what possessed me to write a long-ass post about my celebrity crushes but here ya go!

www.autisticasfxxk.com/blog/celebri...

Exploring my inner world through The Sims I had an idea one day to create and play Sims that represent different parts of myself, as a supplement to my Internal Family Systems (IFS) work. I figured it’d be a fun and creative way to visualise ...

I wonder if there are other Autistic or Neurodivergent people out there who play The Sims in a similar way that I do. Let me know if you do!

www.autisticasfxxk.com/blog/inner-w...

What I would like to see in a job training programme for Autistic people After sharing about my horrific experience with a job training programme for Autistic people in Singapore, I’ve been thinking a lot about what a truly supportive programme would look like. Here are so...

Here are some ideas I have on what I’d like to see in a job training programme for Autistic people, based on my lived experience: www.autisticasfxxk.com/blog/job-tra...

Learning to scream like my rock idols For most of my life, I didn’t know how to scream. Now I’m learning to scream like my rock idols and reclaiming my anger.

For most of my life, I didn’t know how to scream. Now I’m learning to scream like my rock idols and reclaiming my anger. www.autisticasfxxk.com/blog/learnin...

My horrible experience with a job training programme for Autistic people in Singapore I’ve mentioned a few times before that I had an awful experience with a job training programme for Autistic people in Singapore. I talked a bit about it in my “Autistic As Fxxk manifesto” post, but af...

This was a difficult post for me to write, but I felt it was important to share this story so that other Singaporean Autistics who had similar experiences wouldn’t feel alone.

www.autisticasfxxk.com/blog/job-tra...

Haunted by hopelessness: 12 Zambians share their stories as HIV drugs run out Mothers and children, husbands and wives, doctors, truck drivers and religious leaders are all grappling with the fallout from the sudden U.S. cuts in aid.

I look at close to 100 stories a week and even more outside of work. I’ve done this ten years.

This is among the most horrific things I’ve ever read — testimony from dying children whose access to medicine has been cut off by the Trump administration.

www.npr.org/sections/goa...

Autistic people shouldn’t have to prove their worth through their accomplishments, intelligence, productivity, and usefulness to society in order to be seen as fully human.

No matter what your support needs are, you are already worthy, even if others don’t see it.

Background is purple with a crumpled paper texture. Text reads, “Your worth does not depend on: • How well you mask. • How independent you are. • How gifted or intelligent you are. • How productive you are. • How useful you are to society. • How inspirational you are to neurotypicals.”

In response to RFK Jr. saying that Autistic people “will never pay taxes. They’ll never hold a job. They’ll never play baseball. They’ll never write a poem. They’ll never go out on a date. Many of them will never use a toilet unassisted.”

Autism Dialogues Autistic stories from around the world

I highly recommend checking out the interviews on the website to learn about the diverse experiences of Autistic people around the world!

If you’d like to be interviewed for this project, get in touch with AutismDialogues.com!

Autism Dialogues is an Autistic-led project that highlights the lived experiences and thoughts of Autistic people through interviews on a range of topics. It is a safe space where interviewees can freely share their insights, stories, opinions, and experiences without judgement.

Interview 41: Rachel (from Autistic As Fxxk) Forty-first interview on Autism Dialogues.

Sharing this interview I did with Autism Dialogues for Autism Awareness/Acceptance Month! I think it gives a good overview of my background and experiences as an Autistic person in Singapore.

autismdialogues.com/2024/08/15/i...

Donate to Justice for Victor Perez, organized by Victor Perez April 5th 2025, Victor Perez, 17, was shot at nine times by four members of the Pocatello PD wi… Victor Perez needs your support for Justice for Victor Perez

Please help Victor Perez’s family if you can: GoFundMe.com/f/Justice-For-Victor-Perez

The Cult of Compliance and the Policing of the Norm If my children are autistic or mentally ill or both, I don’t want them to grow up in a world where their humanity is questioned every single day, or where police brutality based on their disability st...

To learn more about the pervasive and systemic problem of police violence against Black and Brown neurodivergent and disabled people, check out @StimPunks.org’s excellent trove of resources at: StimPunks.org/Policing

Background is purple with a crumpled paper texture. On top, text reads, “They should still be here.” Below the text is a cutout photo of Victor Perez, a 17-year-old Puerto Rican Autistic teen, and a cutout photo of Ryan Gainer, a 15-year-old Black Autistic teen.

To learn more about the pervasive and systemic problem of police violence against Black and Brown neurodivergent and disabled people, check out @StimPunks’ excellent trove of resources at: StimPunks.org/Policing

Please help Victor Perez’s family if you can: GoFundMe.com/f/Justice-For-Victor-Perez

This Autism Acceptance/Awareness Month, please remember our neurokin who lost their lives to systemic racism and ableism.

Rest in peace Victor Perez. And I still haven’t forgotten Ryan Gainer, who we lost last year. 💔

Police violence against neurodivergent and disabled people is a pervasive and systemic problem. We collect resources on our page “The Cult of Compliance and the Policing of the Norm”.

stimpunks.org/policing/

Yes, the West isn’t perfect either, but as my friend Auti_Anthology (from Instagram) has said, “If you live in the West, you already have more autism awareness and support than many others. Appreciate what you have — and please listen to those who have far less.”