💡exquisite virility🍴

Everyone’s got that one homie who’s just had it too good for too long

It’s so embarrassing when ur describing something like “haha lol” and the therapist starts empathizing with you 💀

a painting of a smiling moon with red eyes and the letter b on the bottom Alt: a painting of a smiling moon with red eyes nodding

yea

Why do ppl not say “euros” why just “euro” its weird

I’m at step 3 babeyy this plan is working out so well

your good deeds too. I guess. whatever. I'm not the worlds best feminist.

happy international women's day!!!!!! huge fan of you guys and your evil deeds!!!!!!!!

U ever get so high that smells start to make noise

1. Get high
2. Play video games until the munchies hit
3. Eat ice cream bar
4. Masturbate furiously
5. ???
6. Profit

“The girl breeding this”

Why isn’t my uncle helping to put the children to bed 💀

getting grafted with the boys tonight babe don't wait up

Is Lent supposed to be capitalized idk

Girlfriend who goes off dating you for lent x boyfriend who goes off dating you for Ramadan

Dear god… yeah at the very least you deserve a nice treat

Nah, just a mirror. Is there a thing about light making people sneeze?

and yet im terrified of being 30… #strange #odd

I truly think it will be so fun to be 60

interesting… I don’t have that but I do always sneeze if I pluck my eyebrows which I thought was universal until I actually mentioned it to oomf and he was like “nope”

Being a clown at 40 is funnier than being a clown in ur 20s anyway

Hopefully 10 years from now I will no longer have a conscience stopping me from being a clown

I should be more annoying on Grindr

I like the concept of just scaring the shit out of someone for no particular reason like just for the craic

If touching the inside of your ears is bad why does it feel so good??? Actual question like why does sticking stuff in there feel so good 😭

Hot

[Sisqo wearing a deerstalker and smoking a pipe]

S: Just one more thing madam…..let me see that thong

shall i compare thee to a summers day?

thou art more lovely and have bigger knockers

save me 325/200mg acetaminophen-ibuprofen combo

325/200mg acetaminophen-ibuprofen combo save me