RoboFist's Revenge

Sorry to get radical but I don’t think it’s my job or yours to embrace, accept, understand - and certainly not to use - the thing being sold to us as AI. I don’t like any part of it, so I won’t. I’m missing out? Good, that’s what I want. You’re worried about me missing out? That’s fuckin weird, man.

"What do you MEAN it's not a pixel-by-pixel re-release of Super???"

Reminds me a lot of how everyone immediately decided to hate Prince of Persia: The Lost Crown because the debut trailer was cringe and it wasn't a direct follow-up to the Sands of Time trilogy.

MILLIONS of stubborn metroidvania lovers missed out on one of the best in the genre of that generation.

I feel this. I'm over here just overjoyed that one of my top 3 favorite video game franchises of all time is officially back, but the general echo chamber seems to be either "why doesn't it look like SotN?" or "why doesn't it play like Rondo?"

It's been 18 years, what WILL please these people?

I forgot how reactionary and antagonistic redditors are about everything.

Lessons learned.

Sonia Belmont looking SUSPICIOUSLY hesitant to fight a hulking werewolf who is wearing a tunic SUSPICIOUSLY similar in color and design to Trevor's from the Netflix series...

By the way, making my claim now:

This is Trevor.

This is Trevor Belmont's CURSE.

That's why he can use the Cross. And I bet that gold rope around his left arm is the Morning Star.

This is why someone as strong and faithful as Trevor allows his child to go fight demons in his stead.

Sonia Belmont looking SUSPICIOUSLY hesitant to fight a hulking werewolf who is wearing a tunic SUSPICIOUSLY similar in color and design to Trevor's from the Netflix series...

By the way, making my claim now:

This is Trevor.

This is Trevor Belmont's CURSE.

That's why he can use the Cross. And I bet that gold rope around his left arm is the Morning Star.

This is why someone as strong and faithful as Trevor allows his child to go fight demons in his stead.

Death. I really dig how his scythe looks like it's a part of him, not a separate weapon. Made up of bones and dark energy. Because...yeah, it's the weapon belonging to the literal embodiment of Death. It's not like a blacksmith forged it.

The Fishman! He looks just as delightfully dopey as one would hope!

The Medusa Head. In motion, I swear it doesn't look like dreadlocks as much as it does in this screenshot.

And Death just being this mountain of bones under a cloak? Incredible. Keep cooking.

Hell, I even dig the Medusa Heads and Fishmen in this style. They're still instantly recognizable despite fitting into this new bombastic tone.

I'm so excited to see more familiar faces.

Screenshot from Castlevania: Belmont's Curse where a giant, naga-esque Medusa and her tentacle-like snake hair shoots a giant petrifying beam at Sonya Belmont. It looks so sick.

The art style was pretty jarring at first, but it grew on me quickly. Some of these redesigns are absolute bangers. I'm like losing my mind over this interpretation of Medusa.

Counter-argument: As a talented artist, it's almost your civic duty to be the change you want to see in the world.

You can fix this, for the people. You have the power.

I HAD A LAPSE OF FAITH AND I FEEL FOOLISH, BUT PRAISE BE! 🧛‍♂️🦇🍖🎸

It looks so clean. I love the speed and fluidity, giving me big Lost Crown vibes. And that art style?? Man...

Just reveal the protag's name to be Sonia and Castlevania has its own Dread-style comeback.

I will die on the hill that Jason is at his scariest in Part 2.

I've played all of them, but THIS one specifically is the definitive. As a tiny kid, I really took the gorgeous sprite work for granted. It's one of the most gorgeous games of the entire generation as far as I'm concerned.

You forgot to mention the part where Quint labeled the different parts of the shark's anatomy on his little doodle for emphasis, only for Brody to walk up to it, grab a piece of chalk, and draw a $ after the word "jaw".

Simon Belmont, Samus Aran, and the Hero rocking their NES colors in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

My three favorite video game franchises of all time are celebrating their 40th(!!!) anniversaries this year.

SE has already teased a big celebratory extravaganza for Dragon Quest. Nintendo MIGHT tease us with something Metroid-related, but probably nothing big.

And then there's Castlevania.

Simon Belmont, Samus Aran, and the Hero rocking their NES colors in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

My three favorite video game franchises of all time are celebrating their 40th(!!!) anniversaries this year.

SE has already teased a big celebratory extravaganza for Dragon Quest. Nintendo MIGHT tease us with something Metroid-related, but probably nothing big.

And then there's Castlevania.

Illumination is trying their absolute damnedest to make a Rosalina fan outta me, aren't they?

My brain is incapable of even imagining Yangus without the Cockney accent...

This year marks the 40th anniversary of some of my favorite franchises, including Ganbare Goemon...

...and Konami refuses to give us the only celebration that IP will even get.

Damn shame. Would've LOVED to see Seikushi Dynamites Arawaru localized.

Rocket: Robot on Wheels

Takamaru, a simple Ninja, the dreaded possessed Murasame itself, and the invisibility helmet. Unless they release Joy Mech Fight ones in the future, I may never change my icon after this.

THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

MYSTERIOUS MURASAME CASTLE NSO ICONS!

Nintendo of America wants YOU to play this game!

If you'll excuse me, I'm going to spend the rest of my night hypothesizing what this could mean for the future of the IP...

"Marketability" might not be important to Metroid's core audience, but it's obviously important to Nintendo moving forward. If the franchise wants to survive, it NEEDS to evolve.

Nintendo has tried and failed to do that in the past, and I think we're one last experiment away from them giving up.

As the Chozo Warrior, you can get assistance from Mother Brain, utilize the Power Suit, fight the X alongside the Metroids and maybe even watch as the Metroids turn against you.

Maybe you can even be part of the Mawkin tribe and slowly unravel Raven Beak's conspiracy. All with Young Samus in tow.

Depiction of a Chozo Warrior from (I believe?) the Japanese Super Metroid instruction manual.

One of the secret endings in Metroid: Zero Mission showing Child Samus playing with Old Bird.

I think the franchise needs a prequel of sorts.

Take us back to when Samus was a child. Have her be abducted by Space Pirates, and have Old Bird send a warrior Chozo to rescue her.

Let us play as a Chozo during the downfall of their species and the rise of Mother Brain.

This is why I think Metroid needs a shake-up.

The Metroids are all canonically dead.

So is the second most iconic character from the franchise, Ridley.

No other villain managed to sway audiences until Raven Beak, who also died.

The X Parasites are very unmarketable generic blobs.

It needs more.

Morph Ball plush pillow

Arm Cannon plush pillow

Samus is like the one big Nintendo character to never get a plush. That may not seem like a big deal, but I think it represents the challenges Nintendo has with Metroid in terms of iconography and marketability.

This year we got a plush Morph Ball and Arm Cannon. No Samus. No Metroids.

Nintendo has entered an era where the marketability of their characters is seemingly their top priority. It's why we're seeing a big push for merch, along with synergy with their theme parks and movies.

Star Fox or Kid Icarus would've been much more "marketable" than Metroid.

The fascinating thing about the Metroid IP is that Nintendo didn't and doesn't need to pursue it the way it has. It's never sold particularly well, it's not popular in Japan, and compared to its other first-party franchises it's not really marketable.

And yet, Nintendo CHOSE Metroid. Why?

Metroid Prime 4 screencap of Samus in one of the many (very cozy) save stations. If this game has one thing going for it that even the most stubborn of haters has to admit, it's how much of a graphical showcase this game is for a first-party Switch 2 title.

Another screenshot of Samus entering the Flare Pool. Giving off some serious Doom 2016 vibes in this one. There were some moments in which I think the developers wanted this game to feel a little Doom-y, but the way Prime controls doesn't really lend itself to that kind of fast-paced rip-and-tear action.

I fully went into this game willing, WANTING, to give Myles and the desert the benefit of the doubt. Metroid fans can be overdramatic OFTEN, and I'm one of the few who truly believes that Metroid needs to evolve if we want it to be a core Nintendo IP moving forward. That means characters need to talk and stories need to be fleshed out. But good lord. Myles wasn't nearly as game-breakingly annoying as the internet at large would have you believe...but he WAS annoying. He shouldn't have been able to randomly call you. The developers should've made sure he could only talk to you on the radio IF AND ONLY IF you called him for help first. Because THIS? This was immersion breaking.

Samus facing off against...Sylux? I swear, if Sylux gets into the next Smash game over Raven Beak, we are going to have WORDS. What a bland, nothing villain.

2. METROID PRIME 4
☆☆☆

Really enjoyed it, but signs of the tough development are glaring.

Almost every complaint you've heard - the desert feels incomplete, Sylux is underutilized, Myles won't shut up - is unfortunately valid.

I can clearly see what Nintendo WANTED it to be, but dang...

"I have tiny arms and I must scream."

This seems to be the most common Changeables everyone is getting. Pretty boring at first.

But I do think it's funny how he looks like a generic dinosaur that just got stuck in a playplace.