Johannes T. Evans

Yeah, for Bertram if you reach for him through the bars it's very much because he wants to wrestle

Earlier she was lying on her side and looking adoring whilst tenderly reaching through the bars and touching my chin, something she doesn't ordinarily do

Fascinated by this sort of prison bar roleplaying game she's created where she can only receive pater's love through an iron fence

She lies on her side and looks lovingly through the bars at me, she accepts head pets and tail pets, she leans her body into the railing or shoves her head and shoulders through a gap in the vertical bars or underneath the gap at the bottom, all while doing uproarious pigeon purrs

She often roly-polies in eager greeting on the landing, but because a few times recently i've stood on the fourth stair and looked at her through the landing's open railing - roundabout the fourth stair your head is at landing height - and she has become utterly obsessed

Both cats will occasionally hang out on the landing and await company, or rush over to wait on the landing as you come up the stairs, the better to accompany you into the bathroom or bed, or just to attempt your assassination by getting under foot

Myrtle has now innovated on the form

Bertie also enjoys peering into sinks, shoving his face into the taps, and supervising my evening toilette, particularly the brushing of my teeth. In part because of this fascination with bathrooms and kitchens, the toilet lid is always down

But Myrtle has developed a new fixation

Where myrtle enjoys for you to throw toys and then to zoom in pursuit of them, bertie prefers for them to whizz right over his head so that he can jump stupidly into the air to try ineffectually to catch them or, better yet, for me to pelt him in the face with multiple toys one after another

Myrtle's laptime is often just about getting in your lap, making some biscuits and doing her pigeon purrs, then going to sleep, or she sleeps in one of her various caves. Bertie generally demands more active attention whilst laptime is occuring, and even enjoys wrestling from one's lap

Bertie, plagued as he is by ennui, is more demanding than Myrtle is as a rule. We have regular corridor time on leash and off-leash, he enjoys being placed in baskets or boxes and swung around or bounced, he likes it when we hold him upside down or just sort of jostle him

I love when cats start doing a new Behaviour and incorporate it into the routine and you as cat parent just have to go along with it

Myrtle and Bertie have their respective preferences and desires, both love laptime, both love to Zoom, they have their respecticve games that they enjoy

And it's like

A) no she's such a good actress you can go fuck yourself

B) working class Dubs have fucking great accents, and you should be grateful to be blessed by her awkward patter. She could have been from D4

Remembering when Fall of the House of Usher had just released and loads of stupid americans were complaining about Juno's accent and criticising Ruth Codd and it was just bc they'd never heard a real life dub before, bc all they'd heard is rada-educated creeps and yanks doing plastic paddy accents

Samantha Sloyan rocks bc she can make you so uncomfortable in ten thousand ways. No one can deliver agonising cringe and palpable fucking anxiety at her monologue deliveries like she can

Lobster Barnacle Removal! YouTube video by Jacob Knowles

Very satisfying videos btw

youtube.com/shorts/AM6NK...

But also the concept for alien abduction is so funny. This alien abducted me and i wasn't good for probing or whatever so they just exfoliated me real good and gave a skin peel and then they dropped me back in the middle of nevada with mcdonalds

There's a fella on youtube called jacob knowles and he's a lobster fisherman in maine and a lot of his videos are just him holding the female lobsters - eggers - and scraping barnacles off their bodies, giving them a fish, and tossing them back into the water

It's very good, i like it a lot

Oh, i mean, the vulcan pon farr is based off ferrets

My problem is not basing monsters off of IRL biology. It is knowing so little about IRL biology and natural history that you try to describe something that any idiot knows exists in nature as if it's unthinkably novel

And it's like. Well not that it would be an excuse, but i know that you are not racist or otherwise bigoted against fucking animals and plants. Why not learn about real ones? So your horror, based in a fucking national park, can be less shit? No?

But it's also just. Short-sighted and insular in a way that is frustrating alongside the actual disgust at the bigotry, bc it's just a person who is so incurious and so ignorant

A lot of horror authors are still racist and regularly describe stuff in very xenophobic and silly ignorant ways, and part of it comes from this absurd lack of knowledge or awareness and fear of the "foreign"

So sometimes his work is like "unspeakable multidimensional horrors that somehow exist between the very fabrics of our existence, such that to look upon them will send you mad", and other times in exactly the same tone it's like "Jews and Arabs and Blacks, oh my!"

You know how hp lovecraft was so paralysed by self-loathing and maybe gender dysphoria that he became a turboracist and had a sort of meta-4chan white supremacist misery going on inside his own head?

Yeah babe that's just segmentation of the exoskeleton and it's common in literally millions of insects and arachnids. Like thats not like. Eldritch. Thats just a big bug. And maybe thats scary to you! But its not like. Difficult to imagine. Because i can imagine a bug very easily

"It was nearly impossible to describe bc it was just so impossible to comprehend... its body was made of separate parts that layered over each other like armour"

The problem with when they try to describe a scary monster in a story is that a lot of authors aren't particularly educated about wildlife taxonomy so they'll try to describe imaginary monstrous biology as if it's unimaginable

Someone on reddit suggested that the pitt s2 could end with abbot putting robby on an involuntary psych hold and i got so horny for a minute i thought i might pass out

It sucks so fucking bad 😭😭😭

Lorenzo is watching the Mike Flanagan Fall of the House of Usher, which I quite like but don't adore like I do Hill House, and I forgot how crazy sexy and delightful Mark Hamill's insane enforcer-assassin role is

hey look a fun history lesson!

British female track and field athletes are being asked to cover the cost of their own £185 sex tests if they want to compete internationally. Because curbing trans people's rights to participate in anything subjects everyone to intrusive scrutiny and here, hefty expense. This is not a 'them' issue.